subject: Moving On After Divorce For Men - Dealing With Destructive Emotions [print this page] So the decision has been handed down, it"s been finalized and now you"re at a loss on how you will be able to pick up the pieces and start living your life as a single individual. The vows that you have made, the experiences that you shared, and everything else in between has come full circle leaving you to fend for yourself once again. Some actually see this as a new beginning, a fresh start, a new lease on life, giving them the attitude and mindset required to recover quickly from the painful incident. For others though it can serve as a bog "" a bog which traps them into a seemingly unending cycle of pain and misery. But why is moving on after divorce for men so varied? What is it really that separates those who are easily able to move forward and those who get stuck?
Simple "" everyone is unique. But regardless of this fact there are many common aspects of pain that divorced guys share and understanding them is one key factor of achieving full recovery. Being able to let go of these negative thoughts and actions will help you untangle yourself from the hell that post-divorce has created. So what are these negative thoughts that you need to deal with? Here are some of them:
Resentment & Bitterness
It"s actually not surprising to find yourself resentful and bitter after what has just happened. It will seem like a very natural reaction to the heart crushing pain that divorce has imposed upon you, but it"s actually nothing more than a destructive emotion that harms you and gives no benefit whatsoever.
Really think about it. What good does being resentful and bitter do? Does it help you improve your life? Does it make you feel better? Does it solve any problems? No.
The only thing it is successful in doing is making you feel miserable and restricts you from establishing future relationships with the opposite sex. If you want to get over bitterness and resentment, you will first need to realize that they are nothing more than excess baggage that you have to leave in order to move forward.
Anger
Anger is another destructive emotion that is linked to bitterness and resentment but is more closely related to deeper psychological issues. This can be rooted in low self esteem, an injured ego and the desire to feel in control over the situation.
Anger that goes unchecked can be dangerous as it can lead you to hurt the ones that you love and care for you in exchange for a temporary sense of power. This boosts your self-esteem in a very poisonous way and will make you feel even worse after it has died down. While it might seem indeed difficult to control, knowing the real reasons behind your anger will help you deal with it effectively. Remember, you are always in control over your own actions.
by: Kyle Morrison
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