subject: Auspicious Dates And Chinese Wedding Customs [print this page] Over two centuries ago the Chinese began the belief of selecting auspicious dates for important events in their lives to ensure the greatest happiness and luck. The Chinese calendar is referred to in the selection of auspicious dates for important events like weddings, business deals and funerals. These dates can be selected with the advice from a monk, a fortune teller or a temple official.
In olden marriage customs the process of the proposal began with a person who acted as the intermediary for the two parties. The parents would negotiate the betrothal not the young couple. The purpose of marriage was to continue ancestral lines and create familial alliances. If all went well the betrothed's birth date was formally recorded and placed on their alter for a few days. If nothing bad occurred in that time frame an astrologer would be consulted to tell if the pair was a good fit. If the horoscope was accepted by the woman's family the process would be repeated with the man's family. If this all went well the families met to evaluate each other and then proceed to the next phase if all was acceptable.
The betrothal consisted of the exchange of family credentials and arrival at an amount acceptable to give to the woman's family in valuables. The person who acted as the buffer would request the woman's family to choose an auspicious date from the dates supplied by the man's family for the wedding. Gifts from the man's family consisted of tea, pairs of birds, wine, tobacco and and detailed list of the gifts. This process could last one to two years.
In preparation of the wedding day the future bride would perform the ritual called coming out of the cock loft. This rite consists of secluding the bride to be away from the family and only surrounded by friends. The women would sing songs mourning the loss of the girl from her family and condemning the groom's family and the go-between. Firecrackers were set to ward off evil spirits on the way to the groom to be's house. A red mat was placed for the bride to set her feet so she would not touch the bare earth when waking into the house. A red scarf was placed over her face and only the groom to be could lift it.
On the wedding day the bride would perform the hair dressing ritual and the groom to be would perform a capping ritual. The future bride would wash her hair with pomelo to rid herself of bad spirits. The groom to be would dress and kneel before his father who could place a cap made with cypress leaves on him.
On the day of the wedding with most of the rituals behind them the newlyweds experience a simple ceremony at their family alter. They pay respects to the earth, Heaven and family ancestors. The groom's parents are offered tea. The newlywed couple share wine from one goblet.
After the wedding the couple retreats to the nuptial chamber. They are seated and are offered wine and honey. They drink from goblets tied together with red string. The after wedding feasts can last for days as the families celebrate the joining of the couple with their friends and family.
by: James Tien
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