subject: Wedding Etiquette - Is It Important? [print this page] When it comes to a wedding, every one of them is different and in many ways they are a land mine of potential wedding etiquette problems. What may be fine at one wedding may be completely wrong at another one, and what an older person may think is appropriate may seem ridiculous to a younger person. So how can you determine what is right for your wedding, and do you need to let people know?
Gifts
Everyone knows that they are supposed to bring a gift, but how many people come in a party? If you are coming as a party of four or six, should you bring a gift that is bigger than someone who is coming solo? Is there a dollar rule on wedding gifts and should it be tied into how extravagant the wedding is or how much money the guest has?
These are all very difficult rules and part of ancient wedding etiquette. Although now many people give gift cards, and thereby offset the price of the wedding, that was not the original intent. A gift was supposed to be a gift and it often was a representation of the wealth of the giver. Therefore, if you have more money, then you should probably give a better gift, regardless of how informal the wedding is.
Dining
There are so many preferences that people have in relation to their dining, but when it comes to wedding etiquette, it really is "beef or chicken" (unless the bride and groom are vegetarian). Unless you have a very specific allergy, then you should not make requests for your meal. There are no diet plates at weddings, so if you have a specific need, then you should just pick at your food. You are not there as a guest at a restaurant - this is a private party held in someone else's honor and you should eat what is presented to you.
The Reception
This is the area of the wedding where wedding etiquette can really be confusing. There was a time when no one could leave a wedding until the bride and groom left, but that has seemed to change in recent years. Because couples pay so much for their wedding, they are less prone to leaving early - they want to get every penny out of it! So if that means dancing until midnight, that is what they will do. In this case, there is no reason why everyone should stay until the end. Simply make sure that you do say goodbye before you go.
Thank You Cards
Proper wedding etiquette says that you should send these cards within one year, but in this day and age, that is really far too long. Generally speaking, people will start to feel a little bitter if you don't get those cards out within one month of your wedding. If you wait six months, you might start to hear whispers. Therefore, do what's right and thank your guests when their gifts are fresh in your mind.
by: Steven Barnhart
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