subject: Me Smell Good: Buying Aftershave When You Are A Bit Of A Caveman [print this page] I have lost count of the amount of men I met at university that seemed to spend more time on their hair and skin than my girlfriend did. However, in the modern age, men are expected to at the very least smell good. So put down your beer, men, finish that raw steak and keep reading. We are going aftershave shopping.
Once you have found a bottle that looks manly enough (good indicators are pictures of dumbbells, lightning and endorsements by Chuck Norris), spray a small bit of it on your wrist. Then leave the shop (avoid eye contact with the oompah-loompah skinned individuals on the way out). After a while, youll notice that the aftershave smell has changed slightly. Thats because your skin has its own smell yes, MAN SMELL.
What you are sniffing is man smell plus aftershave. If the combination smells good, then youve found the perfect product for you. If it smells like a bag of dead cats, it might be wise to check a different aftershave. Oh, and do not try ten at once as well as confusing yourself, you will confuse virtually everyone around you (as well as killing off the asthma victim in the next aisle). Check no more than four in a day, theres no rush. Buying the right fragrance in a week is far better than rushing it and making yourself smell like last nights kebab.
If you are a fashionista (not that we are judging you, Carol), then you might think you should care about exactly which brand of aftershave you buy. Wrong, wrong, wrong. There is a limit on how cheap you can go (buying aftershave in a cellofane bag that looks like it used to contain a goldfish is probably not going to reel the ladies in), but you really dont have to spend hundreds on a gold jar that would suit an Indiana Jones movie to smell nice.
Finally, always remember the essential modern day shopping tip: hunt around. There are literally hundreds of places available that you can buy aftershave from, which means theres absolutely no excuse for dashing in and buying the first bottle you see from the nearest store. Remember, the tango shop staff brigade are more scared of you than you are of them. You can even shop online these days. Yup, that silver electronic thing the missus bought for Christmas can help you buy things and itll often mean theyre a lot cheaper, too. Stop looking at me in disgust: you could save yourself the price of Sky Sports every month. Oh yes, thats worth it.
by: Jonnie B. Allen
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