subject: Helping Children Cope With Death [print this page] Helping a child cope with death can be much more difficult than an adult. Depending on the age of the child, he or she may understand very little or nothing of death. So, not only do you have to help the child mourn their loss, but you have to help them understand what has happened. Fortunately, there are resources available that can help you ease a childs grieving period.
When a child experiences a death in the family, it can cause confusion. The child often does not understand where their family member has gone, or they do not understand that the person will not be returning to them. Unfortunately, the adults in the childs life are dealing with their own grief, making it harder for them to communicate effectively with the child. This is when a child sympathy gift can be a real help.
There are many sympathy gifts that the child and their parent or guardian can use together. If the child does not understand what death is, you can give them a childrens book that will explain death in a childs terms. The child can read the book with the grown ups in his or her life and that experience can be a great way for the two to open up regarding their emotions and mourning process.
Young children often listen more than you might imagine, and they take the information given to them extremely seriously. With this in mind, be careful when using metaphorical and flowery terms for death in front of the children. They need the ideas of death explained to them in a gentle, yet straightforward and honest, manner. If you are the parent, or have a parents consent, this is a good opportunity to share with the child your own personal beliefs regarding the afterlife.
Many people will feel uncomfortable approaching children who are experiencing grief, but this is a time when they need support. You do not have to pressure the child to talk, but make sure the child knows that he or she can be open about emotions and thoughts. It can be helpful to find projects that you, or a parent, can complete with the child. The healing process can be easier for a child if they help create their own way to memorialize and honor the loved one who has died. It is important to remember and support even the smallest child during a time of loss.
by: Renee Wood, MSW
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