subject: My Ex Girlfriend Seems To Be Holding Onto The Break Up [print this page] They say that women can hold onto a grudge for what seems like forever. I know that you have probably heard at least one or two stand up comics go into a bit about how a woman can remember something from years ago and throw it back in your face when you are having an argument with her. It's one of those broad generalizations that seems to ring true most of the time. And you know this all too well, because it seems like your ex girlfriend is still holding on to whatever it was that led to you and her breaking up. It makes you wonder if you are ever going to be able to let the past go and look towards having a future with you again.
Realistically speaking, it all depends on what it was that actually led to you and her parting ways and it also depends on HOW you parted ways. A guy that screams at his girlfriend during the break up and calls her all sorts of names does not have as much of a chance of seeing her change her mind than a guy who was amicable about the break up, even if he did not want it to happen. Also, a guy that a woman dumps for certain reasons just has almost no chance of winning her back. Abusive behavior, excessive cheating, those are all things that might make it so that a woman will never take back an ex boyfriend and honestly, I think that is a good thing.
As long as you weren't totally out of control emotionally during the break up, and as long as you were not the kind of guy who was abusive or cheated excessively - then most of the time I would suggest that you do have a chance of making her let go of the past. What you also have to realize is that because a lot of women do hold those kinds of long term grudges that guys joke about - it might take you some time to get her to change her mind. It may not be something that you can just rectify in the blink of an eye. You have to be okay with that going into trying to get her to let go of the past. You can't make it seem like she has to come back to you right away.
The other thing that you are going to have to do if you want her to let go of the past is, you are going to have to let her communicate the way that she really feels without their being any sense of having to hold back to spare your feelings. Listen to what she says and see where she is coming from. You might find out that she does want to work things out with you, but she is afraid that you are not really open to working things out. If you can show her that you ARE, she just might go back to you.
by: Chris Tyler
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