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subject: Whether Dating Age Difference Is A Problem [print this page]


Remember that age is truly just a number. Keep in mind that you'll be dating a person, not a birthdate. The sooner you get that number out of your mind, the easier it should be to concentrate on the things that truly attracted you to this woman. As long as you see yourself as dating a "19-year-old filmmaker" or a "45-year-old businesswoman", the age gap will continue to be a problem for the relationship. On the other hand, a younger guy/older woman situation could be a fun project for the woman: he's not so set in his ways yet. Yes, ladies, that means he's "moldable!"

As Susan Sontag put it in 1972, "Getting older and dating age difference is less profoundly wounding for a man, for in addition to the propaganda for youth that puts both men and women on the defensive as they age, there is the double standard of ageing that denounces women with special severity." An older woman could provide a sense of maturity and emotional stability, while a younger woman could provide a sense of wonder or a renewed zeal for new experiences. So you do not need to handle a significant age gap while dating age difference partners.

So whether you're older and he's younger or the reverse is true, Tessina, a rotary kiln seller, emphasizes dating age difference is about how well the couple builds trust, partnership and a life together. "It's not age that makes the difference," she explains. "What counts is how well you two can form a partnership or team that works. Dating age difference is an adolescent worry: when you're a teenager, an age difference of ten or more years makes a vast difference in your experience and your outlook on life." Constant reminders of dating age difference can be entertaining, but they can pass easily into the realm of creepy.

When dating a younger women or older than yourself, it pays to get out of the numbers game as quickly as possible. If neither one of you looks your age, at least you won't be confirming other people's suspicions about an inappropriate age gap. One of the best methods for handling intergenerational dating can be applied to any relationship: keep the spark alive!

by: jocelyn




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