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subject: Should You Talk To Your Ex Girlfriend After The Break Up? [print this page]


One of the things that probably is going to be on your mind right after breaking up with someone that you dearly love is questioning whether or not you should talk to her or if you should leave her alone. For most guys, the choice is going to be that they are going to try and talk to their ex girlfriend, because they just can't resist the temptation of hearing her voice again. If you feel like you really want to be able to hear your ex girlfriend's voice and you still feel like you are in love with her, then you probably want to know what the right thing to do is.

You will probably hear about the idea of going without any contact at all with your ex girlfriend and that can be a good thing. However, you should also note that it is not the magic bullet answer that some make it out to be. Meaning, just because you go through a no contact period, it does not mean that you are automatically going to get back together with her. Not only that, but there are plenty of situations where you may not be able to totally cut off contact with your ex girlfriend.

So, should you talk to your ex girlfriend after the break up?

In order to answer this fully, I think that you really have to be able to admit to what it is that you want to achieve from talking to her. If you are just stuck in the past and can't move on, then it may not be such a good idea to have much of any communication with her at all. If you do, you may just end up giving yourself some false hope, which is not really the best thing that a guy can do after breaking up with a woman that he loves. On the other hand, if you truly miss talking to her and you can have conversations with her without giving yourself false hope that you are definitely going to be able to win her back, then it may not be such a bad thing after all.

Another thing that you may want to look at is WHEN you want to talk to your ex girlfriend. Do you want to talk to her when you feel lonely or sad about the way that things have gone? Or, are you more inclined to want to talk to her just because you want to speak to someone that you consider to be a friend? Answering this question is another good way to identify the way that you truly feel about her and what you are really looking to get out of having a conversation with your ex girlfriend.

Overall, my usual suggestion is that you try to go as much time as you can without talking to her. This way, you can see if you are truly missing her or if it just feels comfortable to talk to her and you are really trying to delay the act of moving on from the break up. If there are situation where you are forced to talk to your ex girlfriend, then try to keep things as brief and platonic as you can. You don't have to act cold or rude, just let her see that you are not really eager for her attention.

Break ups are hard to deal with and not every single one of them are going to play out the same way. Some people get back together. Some just remain friends. And some have to part ways to be able to fully move on and find the happiness that they really want in their life. It's up to you and her which situation is going to be right for you.

by: Jayson Lautner




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