subject: Break up? How to Get Thrpough the First Month [print this page] Break up? How to Get Thrpough the First Month
Breaking up or broken up? Do not panic, you have to keep your cool. Its important if you want to keep your dignity. Besides, you will come across a lot more attractive and confident, and who knows, maybe you can learn how to get your ex back! In this short guide I am going to help you get through the first month or so.
Right after a split up, we are at our most vulnerable, and emotions run high. We often say things that lead to a broken heart, that we do not mean. To avoid disappointment in the future we want to keep your options open, and once your emotionally stable, you can formulate a plan to save your relationship or move on.
Do not contact your ex. Do not do it! You need space from your relationship, so does your partner. The first instinct we have, is to call or text our ex constantly. This creates the impression that you are desperate, remember, a desperate person is not very attractive. Do not worry, there is method to the madness.
Understanding why your relationship went south is your next priority. Ask yourself honest questions, try to be as objective as possible, if you can speak to a trusted friend (your friend, not your partners) or family member (again your family), great! Its beneficial to you to talk about the break up and get some input from someone close. If you need to, read as much as you can on relationships and try to establish what went wrong. There is a lot of literature on how to mend a broken heart. Be honest with yourself and do not be to harsh on yourself either, you need a break.
Emotionally you have just been run over by a Sherman tank. Feelings of anger, depression, and extreme neediness are normal, but being aware of these emotions is a must. You can not afford to let any of these negative emotions pull you into the abyss of despair. Go out with old friends, join a gym, use the time to get rid of a bad habit, in short try to keep yourself as busy as you possibly can be. Do things that make you feel good, improve yourself to build your self esteem. If you feel good about yourself, so will your ex.
One month has gone by, your doing some exercise, eating correctly and doing things that make you feel good. You have your wits about you, and now you are ready to make your decision. With a clear thinking mind you have to decide if the relationship is worth saving. Take stock of all the good points and all the bad. Check through your heart thoroughly. Remember the good times, think of things that you have in common.The split up, was it impulsive, or justified? Make an honest decision based on objective thinking, try not to be emotional.
Regardless of the decision that you have made, you need a plan of action. If you have chosen to move on, start dating, join online dating sites, chat rooms, speed dating, get active. On the other hand, if you have chosen to save your relationship you have to get even more active. Its a long hard road to reconciliation, and you are going to have to have the discipline of a Buddhist monk. It can be done! There are many people out there who have successfully saved their relationships. They are all snuggling up to their loved one, knowing that the experience has strengthened their bond. Above all keep a positive attitude, take good care of yourself and have some fun!
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