subject: 4 Stages of a Break Up That You Need to Know So That You'll Be Prepared [print this page] 4 Stages of a Break Up That You Need to Know So That You'll Be Prepared
The 4 stages of a break up are most commonly mistaken as the 5 stages of grieving. As in denial being the first, anger and resentment being the second, bargaining being the third, depression being the fourth, and finally acceptance. Many of us experience these stages when something traumatic happens to us like the death of someone we cared about. While the stages of a break up are similar these, they're also quite different. A break up is tough and you're guaranteed to go through a process of healing to get over it. So lets begin going over the stages.
Stage One: Acknowledging that It Happened
After the break up of a long and cherished relationship, many of us enter into a sea of disbelief and shock. Everything inside us keeps telling us that it didn't happen. When this happens, don't worry because its an understandable reaction. You won't wind up in a mental institution for not being able to accept that the relationship you had with someone you loved is over. You have to realize and acknowledge that the relationship has ended and its time to let time heal the pain.
Stage Two: Don't Self Destruct
This is about not getting angry at yourself or your ex and bottling up your emotions. This is important and its what thousands of men and women do after their break ups. They isolate themselves from people who can help them get through it, and choose to put up a impenetrable shield that protects them from everything they should be feeling. It takes a strong person to be able to cry. It takes a strong person to be able to open up and let others help them. This stage is about letting the feeling come to you. If you have to cry, cry. If you need to talk to your friends or family about the break up, talk to them. Its also not a bad idea to write about how you're feeling. Doing this helps. So don't bottle it all in and decide to hate your ex.
Stage Three: Don't Go Begging
This is the stage of the 4 stages of a break up that deals with not rushing to your ex and begging them to come back. Besides, begging your ex to come back shows them that you don't have the maturity or the stability it takes to handle a break up. It makes your ex ask themselves, "Why can't they stand on their own two feet without me?" When they start thinking this, they start thinking that ending the relationship was a good thing, and then they'll convince themselves completely that getting back together with you would be a bad thing. So keep your distance from your ex after the relationship the two of you had is over.
Stage Four: Forgiveness and Acceptance
For whatever the reason the break up happened, whether you caused it or your ex did, its important that you forgive yourself and your ex. This stage is about forgiving your ex for everything they did that hurt the relationship and accepting the fact that its time to either move on or decide to find a way to get them back. There's only two choices to be made at the end of a relationship, whether you want to move on or whether you want to get back together. I hope these 4 stages of a break up were helpful if you needed them.
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