subject: How Can I Save My Marriage - You Hold the Key [print this page] How Can I Save My Marriage - You Hold the Key
It's very sad that in the world today there are so many marriages in trouble and that such a high number end in an ugly divorce. In our instant results world I do understand that it is easy to quickly assume that divorce is the answer. But just because the marriage has broken down does not mean that it is beyond repair, and the only option is to abandon it. If you and your partner are fully committed, and willing to work with each other, there are many solutions to saving the marriage This article will discuss what can be done to help save the marriage and avoid a divorce.
The first and most important step is to seek marriage counseling. Few of us have relationship conflict resolving skills. Even though there are things we can do to help save the marriage, a marriage counselor can help get our relationship needs met and teach you and your partner new ways of solving relationship conflicts.
Second is honest communication. If you or your partner is not willing to honestly talk with each other then the marriage will fail. Honest open communication can overcome just about any problem. Good friends of mine were even able to overcome infidelity issues by honestly communicating their feelings. Realize that you may hear things that you may not want to hear, or unwilling to believe. Keep on open mind and really listen to why your partner feels the way they do.
Next is compromise. With time partners grow and change and so do our priorities. Don't expect your partner to be a mirror image of you. Our life experiences have shaped our personalities over time. You and you partner are not the same people you were when you got married. Understand and appreciate that you and your spouse will not see everything eye to eye. Both of you will need to be willing to bend and accept each other's differences and find the middle ground to resolve conflicts on major issues and problems. This is not a case of giving in, and giving up your self-identity. This is a give and take, where you are showing respect for your partners needs and still honoring yours.
A marriage is all about commitment. You must dedicate yourself to your marriage and your future together and work to make it happen. Don't cut and run when things get tough. Remember you're in it for "better or worse" so don't give up. Be willing to do anything and everything to work through the tough times.
Stop blaming your partner. It's childish and petty. Remember that a marriage takes two. Both of you are responsible for the current state of the relationship. If your partner has cheated, were there things that you did or did not do that lead them to that infidelity. Be honest about your behavior, admit your mistakes and be willing to change your thoughts, attitude and behavior.
If you follow the above steps you and your partner stand a good chance of saving your marriage.
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