subject: Do We Look For Our Parents Traits in our Partners? [print this page] Do We Look For Our Parents Traits in our Partners?
There has always been the fascination that we look for some traits of our parents in our partners, but just how true is that notion?
My view is that we do all become parents eventually, and as they found each other through love surely we would look for certain attributes in a partner that our parents would look for? That said there would have been certain things while growing up that have annoyed you about your parents, and as such it would be common sense to assume you would look to dispel these memories you have of them and look for someone who didn't have these characteristics. It comes down to the whole nature versus nurture theory of which we know much about but in its relation to what type of people we are attracted to I believe it to only be personality traits as oppose to physical.
Positive personality attributes our parents may have, are character traits that we will look for in a relationship. If we have been brought up in a manner that means we are good with money we may look for a relationship in which this can be enhanced. However if your personality type leads you to be rebellious there is no reason to believe that you wouldn't look for a relationship that steers you away from this environment. It very much depends on what type of environment you were brought up in, as well as what type of personality you have in order to establish exactly what you are going to look for in a relationship. And these factors will lead you to a conclusion of whether we really do end up with partners that remind us of our parents, or hold certain attributes that they have.
So in conclusion, it is very hard for us to establish whether we look for partners that remind us of our parents. However it definitely can be said that we find certain aspects in partners comforting and attractive as we associate positive thoughts with these attributes, and as such we automatically and sub consciously make positive decisions because of this. That said it is quite difficult to assess this question without knowing individual personalities and the way in which they feel about their childhood. Typically it can be said if you had a positive childhood you will look for people who remind you of your parents, alternatively if you have negative memories you will most likely look away from your parents to find a partner.
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