subject: Parenting Tips: Don't Tell Your Child, Show Your Child! [print this page] Parenting Tips: Don't Tell Your Child, Show Your Child!
When a baby is born, every sensory experience teaches them something new. They learn and process their environment by how it sounds, smells, tastes, feels and looks. As your child grows and learns to speak, parents forget that their other senses are still strong. Positive parenting means understanding that all of your child's senses help them understand their world. So, the next time you want to tell your child something important, don't just tell them about it. Show them, as well.Take this example: Your daughter's room is a mess. You explain you'd like her to clean her room so it looks nice. Now, show her what you mean. Muss up your hair and rumple your clothes, do something silly like put a pair of socks on your head. "See! Mommy is a mess! Do I like looking like this?" Odds are, your daughter will giggle and say no. Now, straighten yourself up and put on a big smile. "This looks and feels so much better, doesn't it". Keep playing the game, and you're making the point that tidy is better, while sharing a nice laugh with your child. It may seem silly, but your child is learning why being tidy is better than being messy.If your son is dumping sand out of his sandbox, ask him why. If he says he's having fun scooping, suggest he scoop water in the sink instead. Then, have some fun by scooping him up in your arms and carrying him to the kitchen. You've stopped him from making a mess, and given him something more acceptable to do. By playing this little game, you've made him laugh, and you've shown him an action to support your words. The next time he thinks about a scooping game, he will remember yours, and head for the kitchen.Having fun and making your child laugh can be a successful and positive way to help them remember what you're saying.Yelling makes your child feel frightened and confused. This doesn't help them remember what they should do the next time. Instead, they associate negative feelings to the task, or to you, and this battle will resurface.Try using fun to reinforce a positive message, and that listening to Mommy or Daddy can mean a new game.Children need to be told what you would like them to do, or what they need to stop doing. But words can be hard to process. Their brains are still wired to take in all kinds of sensory information.Positive parenting means understanding how your child's brain works, and using that to help better communicate. It's a good parenting tip to follow up your words with an action that shows them what you mean, preferably in a way that's also fun for both of you.
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