subject: The Best Bars In Melbourne - Colonial Hotel - Review [print this page] The Best Bars In Melbourne - Colonial Hotel - Review
To the promoters and hosts of this little gem, Rats! is a very unappealing name to call a weekly event night. To the Melbourne clubber's out there, never let a bad name put you off from experiencing a one of a kind disco inferno.
The Colonial Hotel has long been a highlight to the nightlife of burn city, hosting many popular nights over the years, Rats! Being no different. If you somehow manage to make it up the huge flights of stairs without falling over, or getting squashed by some over excited teen then I'll give you a medal. The enthusiasm doesn't stop at the stairs, no, it oozes into all three rooms of this venue.
Upon first entering you'll meet a T section, proving vital to the enjoyment of one's evening. If you turn right prepare to be sucked into a mosh of crazy party goers all jamming to a mix of hip hop mashups and pop tunes. Once you get thrown out the over side you'll realize you are in the outdoor smoking area. It's the perfect spot to enjoy the music , have a seat, have a beer and no doubt a useless chat about life with a kid who's pupil s compete with the size of the moon.
If that Goosebump book ending wasn't quite what you wanted then turn back a page and turn left, where you'll crip walk your way across the tiny room enjoying the latest in rap and hip hop tunes. Break to the beats of push through and enjoy the electronic stylings of the latest indie DJ, putting together a clash of newies, oldies and topping of the whole lot with some serious head banger dubstep and drum and bass. My personal favorite room, mainly due to the spaciousness, ample couches and idiots dancing on stage pretending to be the next Lady Gaga. You never know what tunes they'll serve up in this room or what disastrous drunk mishaps you'll get to witness.
Like any good reviewer I'll give you a few little tips to make sure the evening is complete. If you plan to enjoy the super styling's of Rats! There's a few things to consider. Firstly be prepared to have a big one, drinks are pub prices. Beer on tap, drink specials and reasonably priced spirits, all ingredients for disaster. Which leads me to my second point, toilet space for ladies is three toilets for the whole venue. Be prepared to line up and endure pointless conversations with randoms. And lastly if you want to even get in, make sure you pull out some vintage digs, we're talking anything from 90s varsity jackets, to lace blouses and bowties. This is not a venue marketing themselves on commercial appeal, they prefer maintaining a slight edge to the patrons they let in.
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