subject: Melbourne's Best Bars - Revolver Upstairs - Review [print this page] The infamous Chapel Streets Revolver, or Revs as regular ravers of the less savoury kind so fondly refer, is infamous Melbourne-wide for providing open arms at any time of the night, or more accurately morning. As I stumble towards Revolver (not Revs, Im not unsavoury) at 7am I find that entering a bar while birds are cheerily chirping and MacDonalds breakfast is sloppily served is an out of body experience in itself. Upon entrance I see a woman pole dancing with a 1970s style light shade and decide that I wont be needing whatever she took in order to see Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
A room full of mismatched furniture, orange lighting and passed out political princes of tomorrow leaving a tangled web of smashed glasses across a heavily stained floor is an overwhelming first impression. Its not all drunk dungeons and dragons though, on the contrary Revolver presents a lack of drinking and more a haven of restoration for those who went too hard a few hours earlier.
Bar prices are standard leaning towards pricey, and its obvious that for anyone who can afford to fuel intoxication on the streets of Melbourne until 7am and still return to the bar for a drink, money is no object.
As I make my way through to the ladies room (or should I more aptly name it the pass out room?), the interior architecture and designs of Revolver become strikingly apparent. High as a kite ceilings illustrate the feelings of those around me, as poster patched wallpaper remind me of my bedroom walls. Furniture is strewn across every wall and corner, and I begin to feel as though Ive stepped into a parallel universe op shop where old women working for the Salvos are actually table top dancing twenty year olds exhausting their last amounts of energy before midday.
The hallway leading to the bathroom is crowded and almost overbearing, and before I let myself answer the rhetorical self talk question Why are both the mens and womens toilets crowded?, I see a man walk out with one too many sniffs and a trace off white powder across his chequered chest. So the crowded mens toilets werent a case of camp comrades wanting some one on one, but rather a case of lets be discreet in drug taking, even though we know everyone here is off their chops.
Theres a certain lack of oxygen throughout Revolver, and it seems that the majority of Smoking Sallys head down the giant staircase and onto Prahans Chapel Street for a smoke and a slouch. If fresh air is something youre looking for at 8am on a Sunday morning, Revolver will have you going round and round and round on a search for such precious gold.
Revolver Upstairs provides a wacked out waiting room for those who enjoy spending those precious hours before Melbournes Metro trains start up again doing the dirty deeds they love. Although my experience was of the sober variety, the hilarity of the intoxication of those around me was enough to have me leaving on a high all of my own.
by: Sophie Lane
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