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subject: Finding Your Dating Value [print this page]


Whether you're a man or a woman on the singles' scene it's important to have an idea of what it is about you that makes you attractive, not only to others, but to yourself as well.

If you were define the meaning of dating you might come up with series of definitions pertaining to the matchmaking of two people who would eventually form some type of relationship. What this definition means to you as an individual is far more important as it will set the tone for what you hope to accomplish in your dating life.

Those who have not set some kind of goal in their dating life and continue to have love questions or commitment confusion may find that the dating experience is far less satisfying because they have no idea what they're aiming for when meeting available singles. Trimming away those paths which hold little or no interest for you can make the entire experience seem less and complex and far more rewarding over time.

Some advantages of today's society, such as online dating, speed dating or matchmaking services allow for an even more exacting approach in connecting two people. Though some people still hesitate to make use of these modern day methods of dating, the results of some simply make them far too remarkable to ignore.

Taking control of the direction in which your romantic life is headed can reduce the amount of time and energy wasted on fruitless results and disastrous relationships. By trimming away what will not fit in your life and taking a few precautions against unnecessary pitfalls you can increase your chances for making an excellent match, or many if you should so desire.

Part of any good dating safety tips includes not only protecting yourself from internet stalkers or creepy club predators, but also protecting your own sense of worth. There are few things that can eat away at person's self esteem like romantic rejection and even in a moderate amount allowing poor dating experience can affect an individual's entire life.

Following some basic steps for getting your goals in sight and building up your confidence will help you prepare for the type of future you want and avoid all of the hassles along the way.

* Step One: Your Ideal Romantic Future

Do you picture yourself married with a family or out playing the field? It is important to know what you're doing when you're out in the dating world so that you can avoid hurting anyone including yourself. Even those who feel as though they posses no feelings can become riddled with guilt if practicing deception in order to obtain their goals. Knowing what you want from dating and not being afraid to let those you meet in on your goals is an excellent way to avoid wasting time.

* Step Two: Confidence and Certainty

Even if you are not sure what you see in your future, allowing yourself to be pushed in one direction or the other simply because the person you are dating knows what they want is a poor way to proceed. If you lack the confidence to know your value in a relationship, chances are that your partner will too. This poor self esteem will only decrease your chances for honing in on what makes you happy and having the ability to demand that your needs be met in any kind of a relationship.

If you find that you seriously lack the confidence to be assertive about what you need and want from romance you may need to spend a little time boosting it up before you begin dating others. You might begin by making a list of those traits which you most admire about yourself and cross it with one that lists those things which you would change. Many people spend their entire lives always seeking improvement and while no one may have achieved that goal quite yet the confidence you build along the way will allow you to shine in the eyes of others.

* Step Three: Holding Shields

When and if one of your relationships doesn't work out, regardless of how long you have been dating the person it is imperative that you are able to bounce back. Through this process you may discover some things you don't like about yourself that you need to change, or may simply discover that you haven't met the right person, but in either case you cannot let a setback keep you from finding what you want.

* Step Four: Importance

There are those who believe in find their soul mate and others who insist that romance is all in the hands of science, but in either case you must learn to balance this aspect of your life with everything else. Some of the best advice for singles is to keep in mind that romance doesn't always work out the way you may expect it to. As long as you have the desire to keep searching for the right person, or the instinct to play the field, you should continue to do so and enjoy your life.

Allowing any romantic struggles you may encounter to ruin your life places too much importance on just one aspect of being human. Keep this in mind when trying to mend a broken heart or when that sea of so many fish, seems rather thinner than usual.

Though it may sound ridiculous to some and has been greeted by more cynical responses than anyone might be able to count, the old saying about loving yourself before being able to love others is quite often true. Strengthening your weak points and taking pride in that which is already strong will aid you more than you may be able to fathom in dating and future romances. Find the value of who you are and when you head out to the club or sign into an online dating community, be that person so that the one you've been waiting for can recognize you.

by: Addison Kross




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