subject: Dating : Translating Love And How To Be Loving [print this page] When it comes to dating, individuals can experience emotions ranging from extreme joy to serious depression. Not only are you struggling to find your lifelong soul mate but you are also learning and exercising the very basics of human communication, which can be exceedingly confusing for most people on the planet. There is no need to put undue pressure on yourself when it comes to learning the ins and outs of dating; simply take your time and do your best to open the lines of communication to the best of your ability. Understanding some basic ways to express love and affection to your dating partner is essential to fostering healthy communication with your prospective mate, whether you are on your first or your fiftieth night out together.
Translating Love
Not everybody expresses love and appreciation in the same way. This is why men and women can sometimes feel as though they are not getting what they need from their partners. Some people express love verbally, while others express love by serving their partner in more practical (tangible) ways. Still other people express affection via physical touch, which can be very awkward for people that may not welcome public displays of affection, particularly earlier on in the dating experience.
There are many different ways that human beings express affection and therefore when you are dating, you should try to "translate" your affection for your partner into a "language" that they understand. What this means is that if your dating partner enjoys hearing words of affirmation, you should make a point of praising him or her verbally throughout the course of the evening. This may be difficult if you primarily express affection via physical touch, but it is the only way that your date will truly understand how you feel about them.
Conversely, it is also important to let your date know how you primarily like to receive affection. For instance, if you are a female that enjoys practical expressions of affection, tell your date upfront that you like more traditional displays like opening the door, pulling out the seat at the dinner table, etc. If you are a male that enjoys verbal displays of affection, make a small comment about it right when you sit down for dinner. Women are typically good at picking up cues and they will be more than happy to praise you if they are interested in pursuing a relationship.
Being Honest
If you are not feeling affection from your dating partner, ignoring the problem will not do anyone any good. Dating is meant to be a season of getting to know your potential mate and of hammering out some of the essential building blocks for future relational success. If you are not feeling loved during those first dates, do not expect the problem to get better without making some changes. In addition, if it is clear that you and your dating partner just cannot figure out how to communicate affection to one another, you may be wise just to move on. Remember, not every date has to end in marriage.
by: Susan Lancaster
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