subject: What Scares People About Online Dating Sites? [print this page] What Scares People About Online Dating Sites?
The number one fear of online dating is being taken for a ride, being conned, tricked, made to believe something that just ain't true. Some people have been very disappointed with online dating because the person they thought they were getting to know turned out be not like they thought they would be. The sense of distance between people when they 'meet' online can of course be a negative thing - you can present an image of yourself that is not realistic.
BUT, and this is a huge BUT. Does this not also happen in 'real' life? Are we not being constantly disappointed by someone we thought we knew, but who ends up being unsuitable for us? How many offline relationships break up every day? How many online relationships break down every day? I'd be prepared to wager that the proportions are pretty much the same.. We get disappointed. People are not who we thought they were. We break up. This is normal, and I don't believe that online dating is any worse at breaking hearts and disappointing people.
Also, writing about yourself from the 'safety' of your computer screen offers massive advantages, precisely because you CAN present yourself in a way that you want to. If you're painfully shy when you meet an attractive person, for example, you might find it extremely hard to approach and talk to someone you are attracted to. Which means it doesn't happen easily, or often. Which feels like a disability of some sort - I know because I'm one of those guys. Online dating offers the chance to avoid that extreme nervousness and it's accompanying embarrassments like stuttering and sweating and nervous laughing. It allows someone to be WHO THEY REALLY ARE because they can consider how they are presenting themselves, and make a great first impression.
So there are two sides to this particular coin, and clearly the things that scare people about online dating can also be the things that are great about it. Just like life. If you don't risk anything, you won't gain much either.
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