I'm a bit of a cynic, and in the dog world, that is a rare thing indeed. We are supposed to be fawning, energetic, and devoted.
I just don't share the general world view that humans are gods on earth. People don't operate in a logical manner. Always rushing around, covering themselves in fake smells, and trying to buddy up to cats.
But, their dumbness has its benefits. All I have to do is look up with my big brown eyes, cock my head, raise one ear, and whimper then the world is mine.
Humans are ridiculous, they want me to be a guard dog and when that smelly truck is in the neighborhood picking up the refuse, or people dressed like thugs walk down my street and I bark, I get told to shut up. Then, just let me dare to poop on the patio when its raining, the yelling and threats are unbelievable. Can you believe the stupidity of these people? They wouldn't go and take a dump in the pouring rain, and they know how frizzy and smelly I get when wet. Lift my leg, smell my co-pet's backside or hump a visitor's leg and the threats of castration and eviction flow loosely.
But I've got these bozos figured, I just make like I'm cowering while they shout, then I whine, give them a lick and wag my tail once or twice and I've got them apologizing to me. Bunch of sops!
Yawn! I suppose I had better go and show that horrible fur ball of a cat, who has been grinning at me throughout the whole tirade, who actually runs this show.
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