subject: When Men Don't Tell You That You are Beautiful, Does It Mean You're Ugly? [print this page] When Men Don't Tell You That You are Beautiful, Does It Mean You're Ugly?
Some girls are really mad indeed. Sorry I had to use this word. But how would you describe a situation where a girl goes out of her way just to get the commendation of men? Get me right before you miss the mark. There is nothing bad in a girl trying to sell herself in the normal way - I mean the society acceptable way. I am not on the move to stop any girl who wants to get her man by means of her intelligence, beauty, or manners. These things are there for girls to use. But when searches go beyond the boundaries of decorum, I know it is desperation that is setting in, and I hate it.
Here is an illustration of what I mean. I met Joy in my second year in the University. She joined my Department as a direct entry student from a Polytechnic. Joy was just what an average girl should be; not too beautiful, not ugly at all. Just in between the stuff that makes miss world, and the image of such ugly girls you get in the Asian continent with eyes inside their skulls.
Joy was not a real acquaintance of mine. We had only happened to sit together in some of our lectures, and that co-incidence had made us to start to relate with each other; first , by sharing our notes, and it lingered on to talking a bit whenever situation favoured such. It was in one of such situations we sat discussing that Joy told me what her problem was, for IO had noticed lately that her mode of dressing had changed, and I couldn't help but ask her why. Painstakingly she had narrated it thus to me; that ever since she was a girl and had reached the age where men suppose to give her concern, that few men had only came her way. And even with that, that there was none that had told her that she is beautiful. Isn't that a strange thing? She had asked me, waiting to get my opinion. She also made me to understand that herreason of alwayspushing herburstsup recently was for men to recognize them and commend her for them. But isn't that madness I had thought in my mind. I did not tell Joy that she was actually growing mad bit by bit by letting how the few men she had met in life felt about her be her yardstick of measuring her beauty, but that was what I felt in my mind.
I know Joy is not ugly. It is only unfortunate for her that the man who would tell her what she would like to hear has not come her way. It happens like that to most girls. Some think themselves beautiful just because men said so, and some like Joy think otherwise just because men have not said so. But it is purely misleading sometimes top judge your beauty as girl based on what men say. Some men can say beautiful things with their mouths, not with heart,momentarily to get what they want and sneak away, and after that the girl remains what she is; ugly or beautiful. Men's words don't change nature at all. It is mostly what men use to get immediate advantage, and quality remains what it is.
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