subject: Advice for ANY Man Who Can't Forgive His Cheating Wife [print this page] Advice for ANY Man Who Can't Forgive His Cheating Wife
By Otto Collins
Greg is a highly principled man. He has always known what, to him, is right and wrong and has held himself and those close to him to those well-defined standards.
When Greg found out that his wife was having an affair, he could not fathom a way to forgive her. He moved out for a few weeks to clear his head and make decisions.
It was surprising, even to Greg, when he decided to give his wife a second chance. She broke up the affair and is now trying to make amends for her mistake.
The trouble is, Greg still can't seem to forgive her.
While the standards and principles we all hold may vary, just about every one of us feels strongly about what we believe in. Infidelity is something that violates the standards and principles of many people.
It usually feels like a betrayal of trust and of the agreements that a couple often make with one another.
When you decide to stay with your woman, even after she had an affair, forgiveness is a real necessity. If you two want to rebuild trust and start to regain closeness in your love relationship or marriage, you'll truly need to open up to forgiveness.
But what if forgiveness seems impossible? Try this advice...
Steps to forgiveness
In order to forgive a betrayal like cheating, you might need to re-think what forgiveness is.
First and foremost, remind yourself that forgiveness is something that you are doing for you. It is not an act of generosity for your wife or for anyone else.
When you forgive, you are choosing to release the anger, resentment and sadness that you might be carrying around because of the affair.
This doesn't necessarily happen overnight. But it can happen.
Affirm to yourself that you are done being weighed down by all of that hurt. You are ready to start living the life that you set out to live.
One that is happy, fulfilled and enjoyable.
A next step in forgiving your wife is to look at the bigger picture.
Yes, she made a mistake. But, truth be told, there may have been actions you took (or didn't take) that also contributed to the infidelity. Acknowledge that the distance in your relationship was probably due to habits that you both fell into that took you far apart.
What you can do now is to forgive both of you for all past mistakes and then begin to look toward the future that you desire.
This might be a future where you are still in this marriage and it might be a future where you are out of the marriage. Either way, when you forgive you are freer to create the kind of future you want.
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