subject: After The Affair - Is It Possible To Get Over Infidelity? [print this page] After The Affair - Is It Possible To Get Over Infidelity?
Is it possible for a marriage to survive after the affair? The answer being - Depending on whether or not the cheater and or the cheated want it to!
Naturally, the survival of a marriage depends upon the couple in question and their desire and commitment to making the marriage affair proof to either prevent affairs from happening in the first place or to get over them after they have happened. If they DO happen, they should only ever happen once. If they occur more than once, ie:- several different cases, then you are probably better off leaving your spouse and getting on with your life.
If on the other hand, if your relationship has been touched by infidelity once (a single time) you may find that you are not going to want to give up everything that you have worked so hard to create and therefore will have a lot of work ahead of you to rebuild your marriage.
With patience, a lot of understanding and a lot of time, YOU and your spouse can not only get over this hurdle, but you can totally eliminate the hurdles in order to be more connected with your spouse, thus creating a better and stronger than ever before unity.
It is important to give each other the space needed to first sort out all of the feelings and emotions that each may have. It is likely that the partner that was cheated on will leave the home for a period or they may ask the cheater to leave the home for a period of time. It is likely that the period of time will at first be indefinite.
At this point one or both parties are going to be extremely hurt and angry and probably don't have any intention of fixing the marriage. This anger and hurt doesn't last forever, though and many spouses that have been cheated on DO start thinking about rebuilding the marriage at an early stage. This time apart often gives BOTH spouses an idea of what they could lose and they then start to think about getting over infidelity.
It is at this point that both parties can begin to communicate with one another once more and often the conversation is about the details of the affair. The details are very important and need to be disclosed so as to be able to identify the cause of the infidelity. These conversations should also be used to try and establish trust and openness in the relationship again.
There are many questions that need to be asked, questions like 'Why they cheated?' and 'How they selected the person they did to have the affair with?' also 'IF' and 'How they can ensure that it won't happen again in the future!'
After the affair the road is long and bumpy, but if your marriage is worth saving then it is worth it! By being honest with one another and gradually spending more time with each other it is possible to once again find the love again.
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