subject: Pregnancy and Men: How to be there for her [print this page] There will come a time, in most peoples lives, when they either decide to become parents or it just happens without planning. This occurrence can be one or all of several things: Joyous, Terrifying, Exciting, Nerve Racking, Confusing, or surprisingjust to name a few. No matter how youre feeling chances are that its normal. However, there are ways to act that will make the pregnancy incredibly stressful or incredibly exciting. First of all its important to figure out early on, whether the pregnancy was planned or not, if youd like to make things with your pregnant partner work. Then try wrapping your mind around the fact that in nine short months youre going to be staring down the barrel at fatherhood and your own new edition. So, how do you get from point A, to point B? I wont lieits not simple. Pregnancy does all kinds of things to a woman. One minute shes happy, one minute sad and the nextwho knows. Its not up to you to figure out WHY she feels how she does; its up to you to deal with it appropriately by understanding how to not always take things personally. In the first few months of pregnancy a woman is literally being drained of all her energy because the embryo is forming into a fetus. This drain can cause extreme mood swings, weepiness, severe fatigue, and morning sickness. This is a good time for a man to make sure his partner is getting enough rest and making sure shes comfortable. No, you dont have to fawn all over her but just make it a habit early on checking how shes feeling. Youll be much less likely to be in the firing path of her up and down mood swings. Remember, pregnancy is a very isolating thing for a woman to endure. It definitely has its rewards (feeling baby move, growing life, having people wait on you hand and foot), but its also somewhat of a lonely time. The moment a woman reads a positive pregnancy test she automatically has to change many things. No coffee, no alcohol, no diet anything, no lifting, no smoking, no fishthe list goes on. So then she begins a journey by herself where she suddenly has all these rules to follow and most of the time she has no one to relate to. So with that in mind dont look at her sudden clinginess as an annoyance, realize she feels lonely. The child shes growing is something she has in common with you and in her eyes that makes the isolation a little less.isolating. Make her feel special. When a woman is pregnant she is in the most vulnerable state shell ever be in again. Anything makes her cry, she cant very well defend herself if needed, and shes uncomfortable to boot. Self esteem drops as she probably feels fat, and hormones are raging supplying either estrogen or testosterone to the unborn child. A little effort here can mean a world of difference. Find ways to say you care even if it makes you a little uncomfortable. Send flowers, buy her a pedicure/manicure, steal her away for the weekend and enjoy some solitude while its just the two of you. Look her in the eyes when shes big and pregnant and tell her shes beautiful.but really mean it. Pregnant women have a hard time themselves dealing with mood swings. Its hard for them to comprehend why they are acting as they are. Of course they understand that they are pregnantbut most of the time they didnt know just how much pregnancy changes body chemistry. As mentioned above insecurities come out of the wood work during this period of life. Probably 85 percent of the time it really is JUST hormones. When a woman feels badly about herself, its easy for her to lash out at her partner. Accuse them of cheating, or looking at another woman. Really guys this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with self esteem. Pregnancy is a beautiful thing, but when theyre 8 months pregnant the last thing they feel is desirable to you, unless you make it a point to keep telling them just how beautiful they are. Now from a mans perspective its easy to say that its unfair to use the well Im pregnant excuse but really 9 times out of 10, its a legit excuse. Not to advocate for women who refuse to drive after 2 months (unless ordered by a doctor), or use pregnancy as a crutch and take advantage of people which can happen. But really most of the time, its everything they can do to keep it together. The second trimester usually is easier but then again in the third, its important to keep stepping up and keep making sure your partner needs for nothing. Be good to her and she will be good to you. Not all pregnancies are rough as far as stress and emotions BUT, there are those out there that leave a man scratching his head wondering where the woman he met ran off to. Fear not, she will be back. Really guys its just about being a strong support system for her. Make sure youre involved in at least a few of the doctors appointments. Ask questions, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Ask to feel the baby move. Try and think of names. You certainly dont have to go out and read, What to Expect for dads but just make sure she knows you care. Being interactive with your pregnant partner is going to be the difference between a smooth pregnancy and wellsomething else. There will be times where there is nothing you can do to fix whats wrong with her and thats where you have to get creative in your tactics. That would be a good time to send flowers with a simple card that says youre thinking about her. Initiative is all it takes. Whether youre married, dating, in a serious relationship or what, pregnancy is an amazing thing to go through with a woman. Yes its confusing and there are not answers for everything but you can be supportive. Help her through it, even when shes driving you crazytry and find it in you to forgive and not take everything to heart. I promise the woman you had before pregnancy will be back and you and her will have a beautiful child to enjoy together. Its not all bad; there is plenty of bliss to be experienced during pregnancy: hearing your child heart beat, finding out the gender, feeling the baby move. Everything. The entire process is a miracle, and the woman carrying your child is the vessel thats nurturing your unborn childshe deserves your respect. Use these suggestions gentlemen and you will not fail.
Pregnancy and Men: How to be there for her
By: Samanthha
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