It's Not My Fault, OR, Take Personal Responsibility
"Its Not My Fault!" or (Take Full Responsibility for Your Actions)
The Law of Cause and Effect also known as the Socratic Law of Causality enunciated by Socrates in 410 BCE is what you should keep in the back of mind for the purpose of this essay. It says that every event has a root cause, and every event is also a cause set in motion. In other words, you can consider it to be the same as reaping and sowing. Everything happens for a reason. Everything we personally have a say in or can affect in some way is a matter of choice. How you turn chance into choice depends on how well you recognize this universal law. You and only you are responsible for your interaction with the events and the people around you.
The Definition of Responsibility (Webster's Dictionary):
Responsible
2 a: able to answer for one's conduct and obligations: trustworthy b: able to choose for oneself between right and wrong
3: marked by or involving responsibility or accountability
Responsibility
1: the quality or state of being responsible: as a: moral, legal, or mental accountability b: reliability, trustworthiness
2: something for which one is responsible: burden
A Scriptural View (Genesis)
6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.
7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden.
9 But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?"
10 He answered, "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."
11 And he said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?"
12 The man said, "The woman you put here with me-she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it."
13 Then the LORD God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate."
14 So the LORD God said to the serpent, "Because you have done this, "Cursed are you above all the livestock and all the wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life.
15 And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring [a] and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel."
16 To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."
17 To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, You must not eat of it,' "Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.
18 It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field.
19 By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return."
20 Adam [c] named his wife Eve, [d] because she would become the mother of all the living.
What I love about this story is the first dialogue and interaction between two people in the bible is a disagreement. Do you see what happens in the course of the 13 verses? These two individuals listen to a troublemaker (the serpent or "friend") and ultimately end up taking bad advice. They then lie to their Creator. They blame the serpent or "friend" for their decision-making. They blame one another. Furthermore, at no point do they take full responsibility, either individually or collectively and ask for forgiveness. In fact a careful reading of this account of the first man and woman's fall from God's grace is that God asks Adam why he is hiding. Our Creator is omnipotent, therefore the reason that Adam had for hiding from God was already known. The question was asked to give Adam and Eve a chance to take responsibility and seek forgiveness. It was not just the act of disobedience, but the dishonesty that caused their fall from grace.
It isn't important, right now, if you believe the story of the fall of man is true. What is so fascinating to me is a story written thousands of years ago begins with the most common failing in all of us. Taking full responsibility for our own behavior and telling the truth. The result reverberates to this day. We haven't changed and we still have all of the same failings.
In reading the text I feel that if either one of them said "I was wrong" or "I'm sorry, please forgive me" the outcome would have been much different. I feel certain that they would have been punished or admonished in some fashion, but their fall from grace would not have had such a profound effect on all of mankind and we would not continue to make the mistake that they made. In fact a careful reading of the bible show's that true repentance lessens God's punishment of wrongdoing. Let's take a moment and think about what it really means to take full responsibility for our actions.
Are you taking full responsibility for the choices in your life? No excuses, period, end of story.
Are you taking full responsibility or are you evading and hiding?
Do you recognize that you and only you choose the direction for your life?
Do you accept that you cannot blame others for the choices you have made?
Do you accept the fact that only you are responsible for determining the direction of your life at any given moment?
When you have to suffer the consequences for bad decision-making are you shouldering the responsibility?
Are you in charge of how you feel about yourself?
Are you staying away from "woe is me" thinking?
Are you being overprotective or feeling more responsibility than you should?
Are you providing for your health and emotional well being?
Are you taking preventive health oriented steps and structuring your life with time management, stress management, confronting fears and burnout prevention?
Are you taking an honest inventory of your strengths, abilities, talents, virtues and positive points?
Are you developing a positive mindset through regular prayer, meditation, and scriptural study?
Are you are living in the past?
Are you are practicing forgiveness for past transgressions even if the other parties don't deserve it?
How to Take Full Responsibility
Don't take on more than you can handle. If you legitimately have time for 3 projects that you can do well without shortchanging any of them then don't take on responsibility for 5 projects. You are much better off saying no than overwhelming yourself and letting down someone who depended on you to complete a project. Look at your daily work schedule and plan out what the 3-6 most important activities you need to engage in and complete that day. Don't get distracted with 10 projects and get nothing done and then blame the world around you. Instead sign up for what you can legitimately do then keep your word and complete it. The three to six rule is what works best for me. I don't answer the phone, do email, or look at TV when I'm working on these critical tasks.
Listen to the best and turn down the volume on the rest. Don't let well informed intelligent advice go in one ear and out the other. Why are we sometimes so attentive to someone who is telling us not finish a project (work or school) but rather put it on hold and "come out and play"? Instead we should be listening to the advice that can help us be more productive in a shorter period of time for our greater benefit.
Don't blame other people for your life. Before continuing let's acknowledge that many things in this world happen to us. Our responsibility is how we react to the events for the best possible results at that time. Also remember every single thing that happens in the course of a normal life is happening for a purposeto make you a better you. Got fired, laid off, divorced, your marriage is horrible, your boss or coworkers are working against you, you got a ticket and you weren't speeding.. the list goes on but you get my point. This is what I call the "furnace of affliction".
If you truly believe the Universe is conspiring for your highest and best at all times then even those situations where you want to blame others; chances are those are the places you have the greatest gifts waiting for you.
When you take these three approaches into consideration in your business and personal life, you'll find it much easier be fully engaged and happy in your commitments. You'll also feel positive that you can be (and WANT to be) responsible for your own success. This is one of the most exciting aspects of being a person who is responsible for themselves; there's no one that can create your success, but you. With that being said yes, you have advisors, coaches, consultants, mentors, and good Samaritans to help you along the way, but ultimately your success is totally up to you.
It's Not My Fault, OR, Take Personal Responsibility
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