subject: Are You Ready To Help With Your Aging Parents [print this page] We all get oldWe all get old. And usually by the time we are the right age to look forward to freedom with the kids moving out, we find out our aging folks need more help than ever. It would start off as an occasional drive somewhere, or asking a neighbor of theirs to test in on them each day.
Usually it escalates to the point they need way more than that. Certain scenarios will require some immediate action. Did maybe your pop have a stroke and wants round the clock attention? Or maybe your mummy has been diagnosed with dementia? What decisions does everyone have? Not only you, but your whole family - including your parent.
Years back it was an unspoken presumption that the youngsters would take care of the fogeys. Mentally, physically, financially - whatever was required. Today, that's not always possible. Irrespective of how much we would love our parents, good intentions just are not always enough. Your partner and your children need to agree that perhaps moving in gramps is the only way to go. However, don't be surprised if you get some negativity responding to your plea.
You probably won't be the only one who needs to be actively concerned her care. Nobody wants to or is able to be there all of the time. Responsibilities need to be shared, and not everyone might be ready to make this kind of sacrifice.
As you discuss this possible move with your family, also debate the actual condition of your parent. Can she get up? Does she need special food that has got to be cooked at certain times? Is she incontinent? Does she require aid bathing? If she wants all this additional attention, how will she get it?
Every member of your folks needs to completely understand and agree with who does what going forward. This could be a permanent arrangement, not only a few weeks. Anyone that moves in who can't look after themselves, is a burden. All the love and kindness in the world can wear thin quickly when you have the equivalent of another kid living under your roof.
Plan ahead and be prepared. If your parents think that you or another sibling will just mechanically take over when the time comes, they need to understand early on that this would possibly not be a viable probability. They need to know what their options are going to be so they and everyone can plan accordingly .
by: Jillian Leigh
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