subject: How To Respond To Your Child's Bad Grades [print this page] Responding to your child when they have received poor grades can be one of the biggest challenges to deal with during their childhood and young adulthood. As a parent, it is your duty to be ever concerned with their potential for future success. Plus, bad grades are sometimes indicators of other background problems that you would be otherwise unaware of.
Respond inappropriately and you could lose your child's trust for years to come. Ignore the problem or act too passively and your child may have little or no motivation to make the changes necessary to secure a brighter future.
I don't want to present any advice as though it were gospel. Every child is different, and you need to be as sensitive as you can to your child's individual needs. But I can at least offer some guidelines about how to handle the situation.
First, try to keep track of what's going on before the report cards are issued. You can't always assume that a teacher will contact you when your child is not turning in assignments or is not doing well on tests.
Too many parents are now shafting their job onto others like teachers and community leaders. Do you best to step up and be aware of what's going on with your son or daughter. Don't just ask them, "How was your day?" Instead, work on asking them open-ended questions about what they learned, whether or not they are interested, and if they are having trouble with the subject matter.
If you don't find out about a poor grade until the report card does arrive, make sure that you maintain self-control. Many times, a parent's first reaction is to blow a gasket.
Instead, let your son or daughter know that the grade is a source of concern for you, and you hope it is for them, too. But refrain from discussing it until you can do so calmly.
Avoid lecturing them, as much as you want to impress upon them the importance of high achievement in school. They are likely already well aware of the significance of this particular shortcoming, and hammering on the point will make them feel worse.
Try to have a frank conversation about the root of the problem. Often, it is as simple as they don't comprehend the subject matter but feel too embarrassed to speak up. In that case, you may want to hire a private tutor to meet with your child in your home and keep the issue within the family to avoid further embarrassment.
But if there is a more serious problem, you need to listen in a nonjudgmental way. Think of solutions together. But remember, you are their parent, not their best friend--you may have to take charge. They may be angry at first, but they will probably thank you in the long run.
by: Art Gib
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