subject: Positive Discipline In Children Is Helped By Non-reaction [print this page] Love alone is not enough to raise a happy child. If that was the case then there would be a lot less children that are defiant and disobedient. Non-reaction is then what you need in order to achieve positive discipline for children and ultimately a happy child.
In actual fact it is "non-reaction" that parents must foster to support your love of your child. This means that you do not "react" to situations that you might normally react to.
If you check out the dictionary you'll see that re-action means "resistance or opposition to a force, influence, or movement"
Here's another definition that applies to many parents...
"bodily response to or activity aroused by a stimulus: an action inducedby vital resistance to another action;especially:the response of tissuesto a foreign substance (as an antigen or infective agent)...depression or exhaustion due to excessive exertion or stimulation"
Does this last line sound familiar to any mothers and fathers you know?
Reaction is basically what happens when two forces collide.
In this case the two forces are often Parent vs. Child.
The end result is usually an exhausted parent and an unhappy child.
Instead of reacting to your child's defiance - be like water.
Before you react to your child when he or she is testing you - pause and be aware of what is actually behind your child's actions.
If you do that, you'll usually see that your child has zero malicious intent to bother you - but interestingly their actions could be one of three reasons:
The three reasons why kids misbehave:
1) They lack information (like the child that does not know that they should not track muddy shoes on the carpet).
2) The have some tension in their body due to some stress (like a child who gets stressed from being scolded and acts out afterwards by hurting a sibling)
3) They are lacking something (they're hungry, or maybe they haven't hadenough physical affection that day)
Cultivate non-reaction. Not only will you feel much more peaceful and less stressed in your life - but you will discover that your child will be far happier and more cooperative. Because if you listen instead of simply reacting your child will extend you the same respect.
We all love our children however they have the ability to push the boundaries, perform and test our patience.
However if you understand your child's motivations and practice non-reactionit will be a great start in the positive discipline for your children.
by: Sarah Hall
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