subject: 5 More Shoo Customers Do Not Bother Me Features by:Michael Cheney [print this page] This is the second part of your learning to get rid of irritating online customers.
5 more features to discreetly tell your readers to go away and leave you in penniless peace.
1. Link Farm Pages.
Links here, links there, links everywhere. A link farm!
Nothing wrong with link farms though. The problem is your website is NOT a link farm. It is a business website, remember? Hyper linking every word or phrase and in every part of your website is a sure turn off for customers.
Having pages loaded with links is like taking your customers on a roller coaster ride. They are taken up and down, sideways and everywhere they do not want to be. Minutes later, head buzzing and stomach on overdrive, they will still go back to where they started.
2. Button Animation Steven Spielberg-Style.
Special animated buttons, anyone? HmmWhere is everyone?
You thought you caught their attention huh? Yeah, like for a second! Now they are gone looking your competitors over. If your customers are children, they might have enjoyed your animations. But, reality check, they are not.
If you want to win the Oscar for best animation, they by all means, have lots of animations. But animations on business websites only make it appear unprofessional and a sight for sore eyed readers.
3. Javascript Dramatic Entrance.
Customer innocently opening your site. Then wham! The page just went into full screen! Gasp for air! Choke! Then customer disappearing act.
Not the reaction you wanted? Do you really expect them to stare dumbfounded, open-mouthed and amazed? Better luck next website.
Javascript can crash a computer because it is too big an image to handle. Plus, customers are not blind. Give a little respect and do not treat them like one.
4. Registration Before Information.
Simply put, the catch before the intro. Seriously?
Make people register before they get into your business intro is the internet's worst stunt. There is a 99% chance that people will not register. Unless you are a famous figure or people have heard positive things about your website.
Do not take the risk of asking for registration. People do not have time for this. And you are not really in the Forbes' list of top 100 business blah blahs.
5. Elementary, My Dear.
Words worthy of Webster's Dictionary. Terms that seem straight out of Wikipedia. Means to impress. Means to make your readers feel they are out of your league.
That's right. Make people feel like they are not as smart as you are. Rub it in that they do not share your IQ level. The perfect strategy to drive them away feeling rotten.
Ever heard of Laymen's term? Have you also heard that a degree is not required to get access to the Internet? Now you know.
Because unlike typical business owners, you do not want your business to succeed. You do not want to earn profits. You just want to get rid of your customers and be done with it. These features, like the first part, are the answer to your wishes.
Exposed: the shocking secrets of how to make massive cash fast, revealed to you in these breakthrough FREE videos that blasted me from nothing to $5,118,213 in record time: http://www.deltasquadron.com
About the author
Michael Cheney is a British Internet Marketer who lives in Aberden, United Kingdom. He has been providing coaching products to other internet marketers and has appeared on the CNBC business channel and BBC radio doing interviews for several business talk shows.
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