subject: Grow Close To Your Child By Playing! [print this page] Connecting with your kids is much easier to do when you are involved with them doing something you both enjoy. Or maybe you don't enjoy it quite as much as your kids, but you do enjoy being with them. By spending time with your kids you are showing them that you love them and care about them. It demonstrates that you value them.
I always found that communication with my son happened much easier when we were doing something together. I was more apt to find out what was really going on in school. What kind of problems he might have been having or just how he felt about something in particular. Sometimes it was just things he dreamed about doing. I always felt closer to him after spending time with him doing things. It was also a time I would share with him some of my feelings, and things that were age appropriate for him to hear.
You might wonder what kind of things she did with her son to become so close. We played all sorts of things together. We baked cookies, played tennis, backgammon, legos, ping pong, foosball, basketball, swimming, even video games to name just a few off the top of my head. We had fun! I love playing with kids. It's like being a kid again. Although I made sure I was a parent first, and that he respected my authority. And when he didn't he was disciplined appropriately.
You might ask yourself what kind of things you can do with your kids to build a close relationship. There are a myriad of things for you to do. The most important thing is to know what your child likes to do and just join in. So many times when kids ask their parents to play a game with them they say they are to busy, and will play later, and never do. Well I say find the time.
If you are really busy, just let them know you have things to do, but you will play with them for say ten or fifteen minutes. It's not like you have to play for an endless amount of time. By setting the stage that you are busy, but you will take time to play with them, even if it's a short amount of time, you are saying to your child "You are important".
When children are young you can help them learn how long ten or fifteen minutes is by setting a timer. Explain to them that when the timer goes off you will need to stop because you have other things that need to be done. Let them know how much fun you had and that you will play longer another time.
Kids can learn so much from you when you take the time to play and interact with your children. I tried to use some of that play time teaching him things without him ever realizing it. When they were babies they took up a lot more time with their constant need for attention. As they grow and become more independent we tend to let them play by themselves more often, which is also a good thing. By being there to play with them at each stage of growth you will find they will be more tolerant of you as teenagers.
As my son grew into a teenager we were still doing things together. Although it was getting much more difficult to beat him in tennis, we continued to share wonderful times together scheduled around his busy school and athletic schedule.
I treasure those times together. I believe every parent can have a close relationship with their children if they just choose to spend some quality time together.
by: Donna Randol
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