subject: The Ideal Child Vs. The Child That You Have [print this page] Parenting is a job where you're expected to be good at it, yet you don't get training for it. When we become parents, our basic knowledge for parenting comes from the things that we've learned from our own parents. We adopt whatever method our parents used when they were raising us, and we apply it to our children. Parents also tend to apply whatever is acceptable in society towards their parenting role.
But I'd say, "when in doubt ask your little scout". Whenever I feel less confident about my parenting ability, I utter those words to myself. Your parents can share their experiences, and your colleagues may teach you a thing or two about parenting. However, the best person to show you what you need to do as a parent, is your own little scout. Remember that each child is different!
One line in the movie Forrest Gump is, "Life is a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get". This also applies to parenting. You never know what type of child you will have, but you still have to be the right parent for him.
When you're a parent, you have to be realistic. Most parents are confused between their ideal child, and the child they currently have. Your ideal child may be someone who shows respect to his parents, or one who abides by his curfew, and is honest. However, when your child turns out to be different from this ideal, you need to see your child as he really is. He's not your ideal child.
An ideal child requires different parenting tactics compared to a child that has behavior issues. So how do you become the parent that your child needs? It's a complicated task, but you can start by calling out your child's bad behavior.
You have to equip yourself with the right kind of knowledge and methodology in dealing with children who have behavior issues. So what choices do you have? You can read books about child psychology. You can search Google for "parenting tips", or you can get a program such as James Lehman's "Total Transformation Program". You can even see a specialist if you need to, as long as it helps you to have a better understanding of your child's behavior.
Everyone can become a good parent to their children, but not everyone succeeds in becoming an effective parent. When you let your child get away with not doing his homework because he had a bad day, that doesn't make you a bad parent. But it doesn't make you an effective parent either. Effective parenting is about doing what's right for your child.
So what kind of parent do you want to be? Think about it.
by: Katherine Thompson
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