subject: Simple Solutions To Prevent Child Punishment [print this page] Many parents believe that child punishment is the only effective type of method for changing the behavior of their children. However, many experts disagree with this notion, and promote other discipline techniques instead. They argue that these alternative methods are more effective in getting your child's attention, or changing his or her behavior.
What exactly is child punishment? There are two main types. Positive punishment is the use of an adverse stimulus, in order to reduce a behavior. That may include hitting or giving your child extra jobs around the house to carry out. On the other hand "negative punishment" involves taking away an enjoyable stimulus, to stop a particular behavior. Examples of this type of punishment removing your child's privileges, such as TV viewing or recess.
The problem with punishment is that it can actually worsen your child's behavior, which is a situation you obviously want to avoid. In fact, many of the most common punishment methods used today are actually counterproductive, and could negatively influence the confidence of your children. Here are some practical ways to change your son's or daughter's behavior, without using punishment:
1. Put yourself in your child's shoes.
Yes, the Golden Rule also applies in the interaction between parents and children. Think about how you would like to be treated if you were in similar circumstances. That will likely encourage you to use disciplining methods besides punishment.
2. Validate the feelings of your child.
You can do this by empathizing with your child's feelings-reminding him or her that you have experienced the same feelings.
3. Provide your child with time.
This could involve time before starting an activity, or time to complete an activity. Using this method will help your child to feel more independent. He or she will be more obliging as a result of this.
4. Give options to your child.
It's been said that controlling your children isn't the same as loving your children. Offer meaningful choices to your child which will let him or her to have more control of their life. These choices are particularly important if your child has recently experienced major changes in his or her life (i.e. moving to a new neighborhood). Obviously, these options should have some limits, since allowing your child to eat candy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner isn't a wise idea.
5. Use time-outs, but include yourself!
Instead of sending your infant to the corner, change your environment by going outdoors. Spend some quality time doing whatever outdoor activities your child enjoys the most.
6. Meet your child's needs.
Often there are times when children misbehave because their needs weren't met. While this doesn't mean that you should pamper your child 100% of the time, you should ask the right questions to determine what caused your child to misbehave. This will help your son or daughter to feel understood and loved.
7. Create a win-win situation for your child whenever possible.
This is basically related to the art of negotiation. Try to resolve conflicts by finding solutions that keep both you and your children happy.
by: Ray Dickson
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