subject: When Your Kids Lie, Keep Your Values [print this page] There will come a point in your child's life that lying seems to be the only thing that they do. As parents, we have to acknowledge the fact that lying is a natural tendency, especially for children. Kids see the act of lying as their way to get away with things, which is why you need to teach them otherwise. But although lying is a part of a child's development, chronic lying is a totally different thing.
All parents around the world encounter the problem of lying kids. Frequent lying, unlike the occasional friendly lies, has to be taken seriously in order to get rid of it fully. Like any other problems of behavior, the best way to address a lie is to know the reason behind the lie. Remember, the lies that kids tell are completely different from the lies that adults tell.
One common reason behind a child's lie is imitation. Most kids lie modeling after an adult, usually a parent. However, this is only applicable to certain circumstances. Kids do no always lie in order to mimic an adult, sometimes, the cause of the lie is different.
Here are a few tips on how to handle kids who lie. Look at the major difference between a child who lies to hide something done wrong and a child who lies just to get everybody's attention.
When your child did something wrong, do not ask him something that you already know. After he broke a vase, saying "Did you do this?" when you already know is giving an opportunity for him to lie. Instead, say what you know very clearly. Since you already know what happened, tell him that and apply a punishment as necessary. Playing with that truth will only confuse your child.
If you find out that your child lied to you, do not get easily offended. Do not get angry, and do not yell. Your anger could be one strong reason why your child lied in the first place - he wants to avoid that anger in any way he can. When you address your child with anger, you are only letting him lie more. Keep a low voice and ask him why he lied. He needs your help to get rid of the behavior, not encourage it.
Kids lie more if they are caught lying. When your kid tries to cover up his lie with a second one, be very careful and do not fall into it. Be consistent with your values and always insist on honesty and in telling the truth.
Handling a lying child can be more challenging in reality. However, if you keep these tips in mind, you might be able to handle it a bit easier.
by: Katherine Thompson
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