subject: Are You A Parent In Trouble: Parent Effectiveness Training Is Something You Should Get Familiar With [print this page] Are you looking for a solution to your parenting woes? If you have defiant children, or if you have out of control children, you should consider parent effectiveness training. I know you free time is limited, so let's get right to it.
Once upon a time, your children were very young, and except for crying occasionally, things were going rather smoothly. Then, you seemingly blinked your eyes a few times, a few years went by, and all of a sudden your sweet innocent kids are not so sweet, and no so innocent. Let's take a look at what might have happened, and where we should go from here.
I would just like to preface everything here by saying, much of the content is generalizing. What is said is true for the large majority of the parents who will read this article. If something doesn't apply to you, that's ok. Just take what you can use and leave the rest.
When your children were very young, you knew they didn't understand too much. However, what you didn't count on is that they would be a sponge and a mirror, and someday they would repeat back everything they've seen. And not just what they saw you do, but they would also repeat things from television, and anywhere else they could get imput from.
This is important to note because we have to be careful what we say and do in the presence of, and to our children. On this same note, if you've ever yelled or screamed at, punished, humiliated, or diminished your children to teach them something, you've probably done something you didn't want to, while not accomplishing what you set out to do.
When children are under this kind of duress, they won't learn what you are trying to teach them, because they shut down. Then, you will get more angry and frustrated with them when they don't learn the lesson you were teaching, and the cycle will repeat itself. Parent effectiveness training would be very useful here.
Speaking about cycles that are very detrimental, when you perform any of those negative parenting techniques just mentioned, another very negative thing happens. For the complete story, visit my blog at positive parenting tips, for an article that will explain everything.
The short version is that when we come down hard on our kids, fear and stress rises. This causes a biological reaction in them, and they have to act out. Cortisol goes to their brain, and they become disoriented. We then yell at them some more and cause this cycle to go round and round.
You may say, what's wrong with my kid having some fear about doing the wrong thing. There's a lot wrong with this thinking because fear causes the problem of excess cortisol. Also, even though your children are much smaller than we are, they still deserve to be given respect. Here's a good rule to follow. When you're about to say something to your child, especially if it's harsh, first pause. Then ask yourself, would I say this to one of my friends. Of course the answer will be no, so then, don't say it to your children.
In closing, I would just like to say that I am a parent, and I understand the difficulties of that job. There is no tougher job. Also, if things aren't going too smoothly in your household, that is evidence that the forms of child discipline that you've been using, aren't working too well.
To get information that will help you focus on the roots of bad behavior in order to make a deep and lasting change, visit parent effectiveness training. Also, if you liked this article, you can find more of my articles about parenting issues, at my blog, at parent effectivness training.
No matter what you decide to do, now that you're moving in a positive direction, don't stop until you've found what works for you. Good luck, and God Bless!
Are You A Parent In Trouble: Parent Effectiveness Training Is Something You Should Get Familiar With
By: Paul Donahue
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