subject: Do Not Expect Too Much From Your Kids [print this page] In parenting, having expectations from children is one controversial issue. One parenting book might tell you that expecting too much from children is bad, while another parenting expert says expecting too little is a great parenting mistake. However, when parents expect too much from their kids, they are actually discouraging and pressuring them, all at the same time.
Parents have this naturally tendency of wanting their kids to learn things fast, to achieve the greatest things that to handle themselves properly in front of others and at home. But actually, it is this kind of rush of raising well mannered kids that make parents forget that not all children are the same. And that huge burden of expectations can actually stress our children.
As a parent, you have to realize that children grow and learn differently. That means that when one was potty trained at the age 2, there is no guarantee that your second child will do the same. Children achieve and go through certain aspects of their lives in different ways and in different times. So if your nephew is extremely good at Math, do not expect your son to be the same.
If you want to find out if you are actually putting a lot of pressure on your kids without you knowing it, there are certain ways to find out. At home, ask yourself if you expect your child to stay quiet when you are at home, or if you keep asking your child to "stop acting like a child". If you find yourself scolding your daughter when she feels shy in front of new people, then maybe you are asking your child a little too much.
You have to understand that children are different psychologically and behavior-wise. Not all children are born social and warm, or friendly and extrovert, or emotionally stable just because you think they should be. Not all kids can play the piano at age 7, or memorize the periodic table at the age of 10.
As a parent, you have to learn to stop expecting your child to do the things that you want them to do correctly, right away. You have to stop making your child feel how disappointed you are when they are not able to meet your demands.
The moment a child feels that he is "not good enough" for his parents, he will feel sad and discouraged. When the child feels that he fails at pleasing his parents, his self esteem will decrease and may lead into a depression. So before you expect anything from your child, assess first his potentials and capabilities.
If they just learned their first sentence, do not rush them into saying a full paragraph. Do not feel disappointed when they do not say "thank you". Gratitude is one thing that kids do not understand right away. So do not expect them to acknowledge your every parenting deed.
by: Katherine Thompson
welcome to Insurances.net (https://www.insurances.net)
