subject: Child Custody: Who Gets The Kids? [print this page] The process of going through a divorce is difficult enough without the question of custody of your children. Both parents can make arguments as to why they think they can offer the best environment for the child. Unfortunately, custody battles are usually heated and painful for everyone involved the least of which is the children.
Child custody hearings are not held in a typical court room that you see on TV. They are most often held in a small room with a conference table and chairs with only the judge, attorneys and opposing parties present. There are rules governing speaking in family court, however these proceedings are generally less formal than those held in a standard court room.
Since the issue of legal custody of the children can often become an emotionally charged subject, you must be aware of your demeanor while speaking in family court. There are unwritten rules regarding code of conduct, and any violation on your part could hurt your case. You should never argue with the judge and only answer questions directly without offering an opinion. Always be respectful of everyone in the proceeding, including your ex spouse. Lastly, dress in an appropriate manner. Shorts and sandals are considered a little too casual and might give the judge the opinion that you dont take the hearing seriously.
During a custody hearing, determining what will be best for the children should always come before any other issue. You might want to ask yourself, if you are seeking full custody, why is this is a better option than shared or join custody? You may have come to dislike your ex spouse, but you must remember that they are still one of the childrens parents and as such this entitles them and your children to maintain a healthy parent child bond.
Many parents who succeed in gaining full custody may come to regret the decision later. Often the decision to try for full custody is based on anger and a desire to hurt the ex spouse. This usually backfires when the parent who has won custody must return to day to day living carrying the full burden of raising the children. Blinded by their anger, there was no thought given to how having full custody affects their career, finances and social lives. Raising children by yourself is extremely difficult and a joint custody arrangement allows both parents to have some time off and breathing room.
Full custody of the children should only really be considered if your ex spouse either cant or wont provide the children with a safe nurturing environment. Before fighting with your spouse over custody, consider how this affects the children. Once you have made this decision with a clear head, you can start over with a clear conscience.
by: Shauna Rupert
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