subject: Having A Baby Is Not A Solution To Save Your Marriage [print this page] It's 2:00 in the morning and you've only been in bed just long enough to start dozing off. You and your spouse had another big argument and it just seemed to go on forever.
Now, when things finally have settled down enough to try to sleep, the baby wakes up to be fed and changed. You climb back out of bed and pick the baby up, trying to console her while you warm her bottle and get her diaper changed.
Sensing your upset, though, she just doesn't calm down. You have her dry and clean, she's drank her bottle and now you're pacing the floor in the living room trying to get her back to sleep so you can get some much needed rest.
In all stories, there are always two sides. When it comes to having a baby, it can bring a lot of joy and happiness into the family.
It can be extremely rewarding to know that it was you who brought this new life into the world. Raising your own child from a baby to an independent adult is something that all people should experience. During that road, there are all kind of emotions involved, such as happiness, joy, sadness, frustration, anger, excitement, and many more.
Sometimes these are even going on at the same time, such as the day Jenny first climbs on a bicycle by herself, without training wheels, and zooms off down the sidewalk. You're proud of her accomplishments, sad to see the signs of her growing up and away from you, worried about her safety, and concerned that she have a good experience with it.
On the other hand, if a marriage is already stressed, whether the stress is due to financial problems, incompatibility or just a growing apart, having a baby is only going to add more stress with the ensuing responsibilities.
Getting pregnant to try and keep your husband with you seldom if ever works. Not only is he going to resent that you are trapping him, he may also resent the child as well. Conceiving a child does not solve the underlying problems. It may mask them for a while, but the problems are still there, festering under the surface.
When you decide to have a baby the decision should be mutual. All the problems you may have in your marriage should be solved before having a child.
Communication between a husband and wife should be open and problems discussed and dealt with before the baby is even on its way. With existing problems worked out and disposed of, then getting pregnant, having a baby and raising a happy, well-adjusted child can be the joy it was meant to be for you as parents and the child as well.
by: Pat Lovejoy
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