subject: Give Your Children Your Presence Not Just Presents [print this page] We want to give our children things that will entertain, inform and inspire. We want them to have the very best. We indulge them often as an expression of how much we love and care for them.
What children value more than presents is your presence. It says to your kids that they are important enough to you to set aside time just to be with them. They notice whether or not you are willing to make changes in your life to make time for them and their priorities.
Being in the same room with your children with your attention elsewhere isn't being present with your children. They know when you're fully engaged in their activity or not. They recognize when your really listening to them or just giving lip service to their conversation.
Just giving gifts to show your love teaches your children that love equals money and materialism. They won't know how to really love or be loved as they grow and become adults. They won't know what it means to be considerate, compassionate, empathetic, intimate or affectionate. They won't experience the joy that comes from being heard and completely understood.
A child's self-esteem can plummet if he or she feels unworthy of your respect, love and attention. The latest 'must have' toy is a great treat but it doesn't serve what a child needs most for a healthy emotional mindset. All children need a sense of love, belonging and connection. When you are not present in their lives children often feel that they aren't worthy of your attention. You place the value of your investment of time elsewhere. Material gifts can never replace the fullest expression of parental love from the inside out.
Invest your time in what matters most to you. I understand you have to be away at times to supply the financial resources for their well-being. Communicate that with your child in a way he or she can understand positively. Shift your priorites and let go of lesser things that take you away from what you love most. You may be surprised at how much time you really have to spend with your child.
The next time you want to offer a gift to your children ask them what they would like to do with you and then do that. Give them your presence as your are fully present. Its the greatest gift you can give a child. Its the greatest opportunity you can give to yourself. Its a real gift of love.
by: Valery Satterwhite
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