subject: What To Do When Your Girlfriend Says That She Needs To Think About Things [print this page] You've been dating the same woman for some time now and you were under the impression that everything was moving along the way that it should be. You even had some long term plans and you were sure that she felt the same way that you did about the relationship. Then, she sat you down and said that she needed to talk. And you got that feeling that maybe things were not as good as you though they were. She confirmed your suspicion when she said that she need time to think about things. You know what that means. It means that she is probably having second thoughts about where the relationship is going and that leaves you feeling a little bit scared. You are scared that this may be the signal that she is going to end up breaking up with you.
What should you do when your girlfriend says that she needs time to think about things?
Your first reaction is probably going to be along the lines of you want to try and change her mind. You want to make her feel like you really are the only guy that she should be with, and you are probably going to think that the best way to do this is to try and convince her that you are the one that should be with. Well, you may be surprised to find out that this may not be the course of action that you should take. Convincing your girlfriend that she should stay with you has a funny way of making her feel LESS convinced that you are the one. Many times, it leaves the question in her mind that if you have to try so hard to make her feel a certain way... then maybe you are not the right guy for her.
Not exactly the way that you would expect it to work out, is it?
Don't get too bent out of shape, though. While you don't want to try and convince her to stay with you, there are plenty of things that a guy can do to show his girlfriend that he is the one. Remember that actions speak louder than words do, and that is part of the reason why trying to convince your girlfriend that you are the one is not really the way to go. When you do that, you are pretty much relying on words alone and that just is not the most productive or effective thing to do. On the other hand, showing her that you are the right guy through your actions can make you seem to be her best choice and that is probably what you are hoping for.
How do you show your girlfriend that she should be with you and not someone else?
First of all, you need to make sure that you can maintain your composure. If she is just having the proverbial cold feet about the relationship, seeing you stay calm and composed may be all that she needs to be convinced to stay with you. Plus, no one ever makes good decisions when they are in panic mode, so that is something that you need to avoid altogether. Secondly, I would also suggest that you act as though you are cool with the idea of her taking some time to think things through. That shows her that you respect her enough to let her do what she thinks that she has to do. And thirdly, I would say that what you should do is work on seducing her little by little. You don't want to be too strong on the seduction, but you do want to implement as many subtle tactics as you can.
Seduction is the Answer...
It can be hard to think of the possibility that your girlfriend may not be as attracted to you now as she was when the two of you first met. The thing is, it happens in relationships, even when you are actively trying to make sure that it does not happen. What you can do is to work on your ability to make her feel attracted to you. To do this properly, you are going to have to let your ego down a little bit and admit that you may need to do some things a little bit differently to keep her attracted to you. That's okay, relationships are not set it and forget it kinds of things. You always have to be working on keeping the sparks alive and if there are things that you can do that will make her feel MORE attracted to you, then go for it. While most guys are going to think that they don't need to learn anything about seduction when they are in a relationship already, it may just be the best decision that you can make. When you know how to seduce your girlfriend, most of the problems that you have in the relationship will probably take a back seat as the passion has returned.
This may not be the end of the road for you after all.
Really, if you are able to get through this time period and you come out better for it, that can be good for you. As much as it may make you feel insecure about where things are going, it is not always a bad sign that your girlfriend thinks that she needs some time to think about things. Sure, it is not what you want to her, I'll grant you that. But, it does imply that she takes things seriously enough to want to make sure that things are right between you and her. As long as you can show her that you are not going to panic, or you are not going to get mad at her for this, you probably will come across looking better than ever in her eyes. What you do always have to keep in mind is that this is a signal that you can't take her for granted. That means you always have to be working on keeping her happy and keeping the relationship alive.
by: Chris Tyler
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