subject: Parenting Tips To Raising Well-behaved Children [print this page] Parents aren't instantly given the knowledge to parent when a child is born. Neither does the hospital give a book on parenting tips. Instead, parents are left to their own devices and often end up parenting just like their parents did. There are two problems with this model. First, perhaps the grandparents weren't great parents. Second, the kids may not respond to that type of parenting.
Children are their own people. While parents guide and influence behavior, other factors that include temperament, genetics, and health issues can impact a child's behavior and how they respond to parenting techniques. It's why one child in the same family can be easier or more challenging to raise than another child.
Raising happy, well adjusted children isn't that hard if parents are active and proactive in their parenting. The basics involve:
1)Being present in the child's life. This isn't just shuttling the kids to soccer or helping with homework. This is taking 10-15 minutes every day to spend focused time with the child. Play what the child chooses and let him direct the play. This will build the child's self-esteem and allow the parent a window into the child's life.
2)Listen. Many parents say they can't help hear their children with all the noise they make. But that's not what this is about. Listening is the act of making eye contact and a genuine effort to understand. Children don't have the ability to express themselves as well as adults do so it's up to parents to really listen and then acknowledge them. If they think an event is unfair, acknowledge that. It doesn't mean that the parent needs to make it fair. Instead it just means that the parent heard and understood what the child said. Again this will build a child's self-esteem as well as help her learn how to express herself.
3)Trust and encouragement. The ultimate goal of a parent is to raise a child who can leave the home and go out into the world as productive person. To do that, parents need to give kids opportunities to explore the world and try out new things. Of course, they need to be kept safe. You don't want a two year old to put the keys in the light socket. But you can trust and encourage two year old manipulate other toys and tools safely. And as kids get older, helping them pursues their interests, and giving them positive feedback on their efforts, even if the outcome isn't great, will help boost their confidence.
4)Set firm limits that your child understands. What if you got pulled over for speeding and got a ticket, but there hadn't been any speed limit sign to tell you the rules? Kids need to know the rules before they can follow them. But, just like the adult who'll continue to speed because he can get away with it, so too will children push the limits. They will need to be reminded again and again about rules. It will help them to remember if consequences to breaking rules are immediate and logical.
5)Have fun. Kids are some of the funniest and most fun people to be around. They have a wonderful way of looking at the world and imaginations that are beyond compare. Parent owe it to themselves and their children to enjoy their children and learn to be child-like again.
While discipline is an important aspect of raising children, the truth is that happy compliant children come from families in which parents spend time with the kids, are positive and encouraging of the children's abilities, and are clear and firm with rules.
by: Leslie Truex
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