The main problem for most couples is a lack of skills: often in the areas of communication, anger management, commitment, conflict resolution and/or intimacy skills.
Arguments first "start up" because a spouse sometimes escalates the conflict from the get-go by making a critical or contemptuous remark in a confrontational tone. We know it can be painful and we hope this series of articles can instruct and encourage you to reconnect with the one you married.
Attitudes and the thoughts that form them are important, especially in marriage. If you are hurt or offended by an attitude of your spouse, say so. Ignoring the attitudes and behaviors that are causing problems in your will only hinder the relationship between you and your spouse.
Loving feelings should come naturally in a relationship, so if you have to work at it, something's wrong. But the truth is exactly the opposite: If you truly love someone, you will work hard for the relationship.
Men will will always define love in a different way than thier wifes, and woman will not know how to define respect but will always expect it in a marriage relationship. If both you and your spouse have these needs, but don't know what they are, how can you satisfy each other?
Beneath the emotional distance are feelings of disrespect. Years of conflict have eroded any sense of value these couples held for each other. Now, their disregard for each other permeates everything they say and do to each other.
"Our purpose in life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we simply desire contentment."
Below are some simple rules for mending a broken marriage or help you in the marriage relationship you are in now.
#1Honetsy
Truth is the expression of love and is therefore always the necessary healing and loving action.
#2 Goals
A relationship without goals/a common vision is subject entirely to external influences, irregardless of whether they are desirable or not.
#3 Respect
If you don't understand or like something your partner is doing, ask about it and why he or she is doing it.
#4 Sharing Dreams
The basic element of "being one" in marriage is companionship. Like friends, couples are open with each other's interests, dreams and goals.
#5 Communication
Consider daily dialogue as a means of improving your communication.
#6 Share In The Laughter
Laughter is healthy for a marriage, both emotionally and physically.
#7 Fight Fair
Work as a team. Don't bring in others (family, friends, etc.) to gang up on your partner.
#8 Be Foregiving
We have heard the saying many times that, 'It's easier to forgive than to forget,' but the truth is that unless you are capable of forgetting you never really forgive.
#9 Kindness
Kindness to yourself and to others comes from a desire to support your own highest good and the highest good of others.
#10 Exspectations Of The Relationship
Building good exploration skills now will help you uncover what's really on your mind at any stage in your relationship.
#11 Shared Responsibilities
Sharing decisions means that neither spouse has to be "wrong" or "lose." Both share the results., together.
#12 Intimacy
Intimacy in your marriage involves more than having good sex. Intimacy is achieved when the two of you can share your thoughts, opinions, and feelings with one another. Schedule dates or romantic getaways.
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