subject: How Do You Deal With Children Lying? Strategies And Techniques To Build Mutual Trust [print this page] How Do You Deal With Children Lying? Strategies And Techniques To Build Mutual Trust
How we deal with children lying is a difficult question to answer. We all lie at some point and of course we justify a lot of our lies by saying it was only a 'white lie.' We even do this in front of our kids to avoid situations and people which are bothering us or likely to upset our plans. We are not exactly giving them a great role model to follow.
We often lie to our own kids too, threatening them with all sorts of weird visits such as policemen, and bogeymen if they do not behave. We also string them along for several years lying about Santa Claus and the tooth fairy. The kid realizes when he discovers the truth that lying cannot be so bad after all!
So, children lying should come as no surprise and also because the influence of the media where honesty is not regarded as a marketable commodity. We can see that lying is tolerated by much of our society and not roundly condemned as it used to be.
Kids soon pick up lying techniques, and the main one is to avoid trouble or not to admit guilt. Then there are situations where kids exaggerate and just tell half truths and the whole truth never comes out.
But how do you deal with children lying about serious things which concerns their health, safety and moral judgement? This is serious because we have to address this issue and ask them why they are doing it, rather than lecturing them on honesty and morals which will not cut much ice anyway.
Much better to talk about mutual trust between parents and kids. If this is built on a sandbank of lies, then nobody trusts each other!
We just have to address the issue head on if they are doing it because they have broken a rule and they do not want to admit it and therefore avoid getting into trouble. If this is the problem, then you have to explain why that rule is in place and add another consequence for lying.
The best way to deal with children lying about important issues is to use consequences such as limiting computer and TV time. If we let it go once, we are starting them on the lying ladder and they will never stop. That is why we should never ignore children lying because we are aiding and abetting dishonesty and destroying any possibility of mutual trust.
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