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subject: A Marriage Break Up With Kids Is a Family Break Up [print this page]


A Marriage Break Up With Kids Is a Family Break Up

There is no doubt that when there is a marriage break up, and hubby walks out the door, there is a lot of emotions to handle. Even if you have come to grips that the marriage has ended, there are some forms of emotions that you need to adjust to.

One of the most difficult parts of a marriage break up is if it's a family break up. All too often when a couple is going through a break up they don't look at the fact that this is a family break up. Most often its Mom who is left with the chore of telling the kids that the family atmosphere is over. This along with all the other pressure she has been under can be sometimes overwhelming. That is not to take away from the fact that this is also very hard on a lot of Dads as well.

So what is the best way to handle this? Well chances are the kids are already aware that there is trouble between Mom and Dad. The age of the kids is a big factor in how you present the final break up to them .

To begin with if the kids are old enough to understand, and there seems to be some serious marriage issues it may be wise for both parents together, to sit the kids down and discuss the fact that there are problems between the two of you. That doesn't mean that you have to be specific about the details, but at least you are looking at this situation as a family. It may create some comfort for the kids that no matter what the differences are between the parents, when it come to the kids the parents are still a unit.

The children will naturally want to know if you are going to split, and again you need to be honest in your answer. You will be in one of three situations, you don't know, you are working on the relationship, or probably yes it looks that way.

This doesn't mean that this approach is going to make it any easier for the kids to handle, but it does create some security. The most important single thought for the kids to know is that both parents are united when it comes to them.

Once a separation with pending divorce begins, most often the kids are caught in between the battle. Both parents need to hash this out without the kids being privy to it. Even before the court battle starts, if the parents can at least come to some agreements regarding the kids, it really does make things a little easier for the kids and the couple.




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