subject: Who Will Stand Up For The Children? [print this page] Who Will Stand Up For The Children?
Neither parents, nor teachers, nor school administrators (whether in public schools or the most elite of private academies) have stood up and announced, "This will no longer be tolerated". The continuation of this head-in-the-sand treatment of bullying. is simply no longer acceptable and should not be tolerated. In the past, common wisdom dictated that if students ignored the bullying, it would go away. Nonsense!
Emotionally, bullying. reaps the same results as any physical mistreatment. As with other types of abuse and violation, the psychological effects echo deeply. In the bullied, helplessness and bewilderment give way to an acid bath of depression, anger and humiliation. Loss of self-esteem, even the loss of a fundamental sense of self, can trigger serious emotional damage. Students' opportunities to learn, to grow, to attend school, and to socialize are constrained by the trauma. Increasing numbers of students are missing school days, not attending sports and other extracurricular activities, or dropping out of school altogether.
This outlook places the responsibility and the blame squarely on the victims and perpetuates a cycle of shame and fear. The outrages of bullying can no longer be portrayed as inevitable rites of passage, or romanticized as part of the fun of growing up, but they will not stop until entire communities, beginning with schools and parents, work actively to end them.
One factor is a prevalent parents' attitude of laissez-faire (be-my-child's-friend style of parenting). Most parents don't want to get involved, and even defend their off-spring's vicious attacks. Many schools are also culpable; they give lip service to character building and community ideals and may even require charity work as part of graduation requirements; yet they fail to do the work needed to stop bullying.
Many schools prohibit students from using cell phones in school, but not only is this extremely difficult to enforce, it does not address the cyberbullying that happens before and after school. Parents and teachers alike are powerless to prevent teens from texting whatever messages they want. The solution then, is to address what the teens want'. Do they want to bully a schoolmate? Why? Is it simply immaturity, or a genuine desire to hurt the other student? In either case, the key is the relationship between students.
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