subject: Single Parents - Oh No The Kids Are Coming [print this page] Single Parents - Oh No The Kids Are Coming
No doubt you are looking forward to that first weekend with the kids as a single parent, but you are full of mixed emotions. You are longing to see your youngsters and spend some time with them, but at the same time, you are not sure how to be a single parent.
The first few visits are the roughest, especially if you have not had any visits, or spent much time with the kids since your breakup. The first thing you need to remember that this is new territory for all of you. Without realizing it, in the past your x-wife, and their mom, was most likely the king pin of the family, who kept everything moving smoothly.
Now here you are as a single Dad, and all the decision making is on your shoulders. Welcome to the world of single parenthood, and you are in for quite an experience.
It is most important that you rebuild your relationship with the kids, as no doubt there has been some damage done, as a result of the divorce. The kids have many mixed feelings, and lots of questions. They most likely have grilled your x-wife with the very same questions, that you will now have to face.
No matter how nasty the divorce was, and whatever feelings you have for your x-wife, do not get into the habit of knocking her. This is the Mother of your children that you would be referring to, and you can bet the kids will become defensive. Then there are some kids that will go alone with your negativity, and this will reverse when they go back home to Mom. Kids that react this way soon get caught up in a inner turmoil of guilt, and it can lead to behavior problems. If you have nothing good to say about your x-wife, then leave her out of the conversation.
So now that you have the kids for two whole days all by yourself, what do you do during this time? Your first thought may be to take them to a variety of places to keep them busy. Remember that in these first few visitation weekends, you are setting a pattern for the future, and also you are going to have to establish ground rules. This is tough when you have been away from them for a period of time, and you really want to spoil them.
Planning one major event for the weekend, and perhaps one meal out, is more than sufficient. The rest of the time should be spent enjoying each others Company, and there are plenty of ways to do this.
It is also important to remember here that you are still their parent first, and perhaps their best friend second. They have to continue to look at you as their Father figure.
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