subject: Children Discipline Problems - Where On Earth Do They Come From? [print this page] Children Discipline Problems - Where On Earth Do They Come From?
Is your child's behavior a mystery to you? Why is it so difficult sometimes to understand why they do what they do? A little thought and observation might start to explain some of what is going on.
I remember hearing on a number of occasions, when something unexpected had been done by me or my brother and sisters, 'it did not come from the wind'. A neat way of saying that while it is not obvious, there was a reason for what had been done.
The reasons why children behave in particular ways can sometimes be worked out, by taking a close look at what is going on around them. I have heard children described as 'sponges' for information. The truth is that we really do not know exactly what they are absorbing at any one time. What we do know is that pretty much everything they say and do has been learned from what they have seen, heard or otherwise sensed.
One of my favourite stories concerns something a cousin of mine did when she was 3 years old. There was a knock at the door and she was the first to get there and open it. My aunt called out to ask who was there; 'it is that miserable b... from next door' was the very loud reply.
Now she did not make that up herself, so just who was responsible for that little piece of her education?
Whatever your child picks up from their everyday activities is likely to turn up at some time, in something they do or say. By the way, that is to ignore for now, that which only turns up in their private thoughts. That is a subject for study in itself.
The lesson here is to be as aware and careful as possible about whatever your child is allowed to be exposed to. Be sure, for instance, that if they imitate you being less than pleasant, it is likely to happen at a time guaranteed to produce the most embarrassment.
In this world of mass movement of information, it is becoming more and more difficult to ensure that your child absorbs only that which is going to add to their positive experience of life.
This means that as parents, our responsibility is that much greater. It is impossible to monitor everything they do, but it is important for you and your child to both know that you care about what is influencing them.
By observing how your child behaves, inside and outside the family, you can get clues and ideas about what is affecting them. This can help you to decide on any corrective action you might think is necessary.
Advice and suggestions for parents at http://www.squidoo.com/parent-learning-club
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