subject: My Wife is Pulling Away – Ways to Get Closer to Her Again [print this page] My Wife is Pulling Away Ways to Get Closer to Her Again
Your wife is pulling away from you. You can sense it. She may say that everything is fine, but her actions tell a much different story. You're worried that if things continue the way they are, she'll eventually tell you that she wants a divorce. That's a very real and tangible concern given her recent attitude. You can't leave this unattended. If you want to get her closer to you again, you have to ensure it happens. The future of your marriage is in your hands, so do whatever is necessary to change your marriage and make it more fulfilling and satisfying for both of you.
The first thing you should be doing when your wife is pulling away is talking to her about what she's feeling. You have to approach her in a very specific way though. You can't simply walk up to her and ask her to share all of her emotions with you. She'll feel cornered by that and if you're not prepared to hear some difficult things, it can easily lead to conflict and even a full blown argument. You have to start off slowly by asking her small questions about her day. Be interested in the answers and show her that you're invested in any conversation you have with her, be it big or small. Over time she'll begin to feel it's okay to talk about more important things because she'll sense that you're not only concerned but attentive as well.
You really have to go back to basics when you do sense your wife needs her own space or distance from you. That means you need to retreat back in time and show her the same adoration and attention you did when you were trying to win her love. Back then you doted on her and did whatever you could to make her smile. Start doing that again. Your wife wants to feel that you still view her as the most important person in your life. If she can get back to a place where she genuinely senses that's true, she'll instantly feel closer to you again.
Also, be mindful of how critical you are of her. Women tend to absorb unflattering comments at a much deeper level than men do. If you criticize her about something and that stays with her it can definitely impact how she feels about you. For that reason it's always a good idea to think about whether what you're about to say will come across as helpful or hurtful.
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