subject: Stop The Arguing: Sibling Child Rivalry Hurts [print this page] Is there a family on Earth where kids don't argue? I think not.
While on vacation I observed young brother against brother, teen sister against sister, and in each case I was so glad I was not the mother.
1. Accusations of taking and/or using something that wasn't theirs
2. Arguing over who had something first
3. Bickering about whose turn it was to do a particular chore
Are the above things familiar? Do they describe YOUR children?
My observation has been that continued bickering between children causes parents to start yelling at them, which often escalates the situation to tears and anger. Parent becomes frustrated. Children cry, pout, and become resentful of the intrusion to what was their personal battle.
Two of my four children argued constantly. When it escalated, I would lock them in one bedroom and tell them to work it out. They could not come out of the room until they had either resolved their issue or they killed each other. Before long, the room would become quiet and I found them playing peacefully.
When siblings start arguing, it's time to change the program.
Making children aware of their attitudes and actions will spare parents of the family stress that sibling arguments produce. After all, don't we all need concentration to work effectively at home and on the job? What if we went to the office and found all the other employees arguing with each other? What would we do except start looking for another job?
Children are a different story. We can't trade them in or send them to another family to be raised. We have to have a plan for when they argue - before they drive us crazy and give us migraine headaches.
If siblings know there are repercussion consequences to their bickering between each other, they become more tuned to proper behavior.
Appreciation of a brother or sister is not impossible. Neither is graciously having a brother or sister voluntarily pitch in to help a family member instead of arguing about whose job it is or who did it last or whose turn it is.
Proper sibling behavior is part of training a child to fit into society and become a productive adult. All a child needs is an effective system of inducing proper behavior at all times. And it is NOT corporal punishment!
Sibling rivalry, if left unchecked, will spill into adulthood, often separating the family unit and ruining family events. How many sit-coms have we watched over the years where the family re-union is spoiled because the adult siblings still don't get along?! We laugh because we can relate to it, but it's not funny when it's real.
With proper training, young family harmony IS possible!
by: Gail Gupton
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