I was in my arena today working with my new horse. Her name is Clementine, she is four years old and she is one of those truly great horses that come along so infrequently. She is sensitive, responsive and athletic and riding her is a bit like driving a Ferrari. More importantly she is very sane, calm and intelligent. Her previous owner unfortunately taught her to go fast and straight with her nose pointed up in the air. I am teaching her to slow down, relax and bend.
I was struggling today to get Clemmy to give me the responses that I wanted. She seemed distracted and heavy on the rein. I wondered why she couldn't understand my requests. Then I gave myself a mental shake and took a moment to review my own behaviour. I had been talking to one of my staff at the same time and so I had not been giving Clementine the undivided attention she needed. (Multitasking usually means that we humans can do many things poorly at one time!) Because I wasn't paying attention I was also making my requests with way too much pressure instead of asking as softly as possible.
I started over, giving Clementine my full attention and softening my requests. Her response was so sensitive and quick that I felt as though she was responding more to my thoughts and intention than to my physical cues.
Horses live completely in the moment and they require us to do so as well. We cannot expect to have their attention if they don't have ours completely. Are people really so different? Effective communication requires focus and intent. In our modern world, where there is never enough time and multi-tasking is the new priority, humans have lost the ability to be completely in the moment with each other.
When we start to pay attention to each other we can also lower the volume of our conversations. When I began to really focus on my horses I realized how sensitive and responsive they were to my requests. I am learning ask politely and softly instead of making demands. Fortunately my horses also have the patience to put up with me as I struggle to learn this lesson over and over again.
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