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subject: Adoption, Giving up your baby, 10 helps [print this page]


Adoption, Giving up your baby, 10 helps
Adoption, Giving up your baby, 10 helps

Adoption is a viable and important alternative to abortion. But deciding to give up a baby for adoption is not an easy decision. Just like every important decision in your life, it's vital to take the time to understand all the alternatives and get every question answered. There are excellent information sources for those who want to look at giving up a baby for adoption. The following ten guidelines may help in your decision making process:

Talk to people you love and who love you, adoption calls up different images to different people. Whether you take their advice, or choose to ignore their recommendations, it's important to get a variety of insights.

What part does the birth father play in your decision? The ideal would be if he were willing to support you in your decision. Having him involved makes the placement more secure and it is helpful for the father to give medical information, if he is willing. However, if he is not known or won't cooperate, you can move forward with the adoption without him. His rights can be terminated through the court, or he can voluntarily relinquish his rights and not get involved.

Remember you are making a choice to the two of you, you and your unborn baby. So much is written about abortion and the "quick fix", but it's a good idea to consider the alternative, since you're making a life and death decision for your unborn baby. Abortion can often leave behind crippling psychological and emotional damage. Most women who have chosen abortion will forever carry the scars of emptiness, horrific guilt, and flashes of pain. It is not a "quick fix".

Know the adoption laws. There are strict guidelines and laws pertaining to the adoption process, so if you choose to place your baby for adoption, make sure to find a reputable and well qualified adoption agency or state agency. Birth mothers may have their living and medical expenses covered by the adopting parents, but no one can pay you for your baby. Doing so is against the law.

What kinds of adoption are there? There is the possibility of abandonment, many states have Safe Haven Laws if you choose this route, but check the laws first. There are open or closed adoptions. In the open adoption, you know the names and location of the people who adopt your child and they know your name. In a closed adoption, all personal information on the birth mother and adopting parents is sealed or kept secret. In a private adoption, you can choose to work with a doctor or attorney to place your baby with a family member or someone you personally know.

What is an adoption agency? Remember, this will be a stress filled time, so you want the agency to be well grounded in helping you place your child with the minimal amount of stress and concern. An adoption agency should be able to answer ALL your questions, if they can't, go somewhere else. Meet with the agency and ask questions about their service, their license and those who will you work with you. Ask if you can talk with some of the women who have placed a child through them, or some adopting families.

Some adoption agencies assume you have already decided to give up your child, others, however, are more than willing to help answer those important life-changing questions before you make that final decision.

What services does the adoption agency offer? Take your time and ask more questions. Does the adoption agency help with counseling, guidance, legal and financial information, help you select the type of adoptive family you'd like for your baby, such as race, age, socio-economic status and religion? Do they help not only in the placement process and but offer post-placement support.

Before you agree to work with an adoption agency in the process of giving up your baby, make sure you feel comfortable. An adoption agency should never coerce you; they should be there to help you make the best decision for you and your baby. You will be working with then for many months so it is essential you feel comfortable. Make sure they can recognize your stresses and challenges and help you along the way.

Once you make your decision to give up your baby, move forward. This will be a challenging time, but remember you are doing what you think is best for you and your baby. It's a good idea to talk to an adoption agency. Don't be pressured into doing what's best for someone else, be there for you.

We hope this adoption advise will help you make your decision to place your child for adoption, or to adopt a child. Whether you are considering aninternational adoption agency or a domestic adoption, study all the alternatives first. Good luck and remember that the love that comes from adopting a child is going to be worth it.




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