subject: Professional career woman and loving mother? It's all a state of mind [print this page] Professional career woman and loving mother? It's all a state of mind
Can you have it all? Yes you can. I'm talking primarily of those of us that are fortunate enough not to have had to grapple with single motherhood or the ramifications and mechanics of state dependency, of course.
I was struck recently by two contrasting attitudes to this eternal maternal conundrum. Both views have their place in what is a relentless debate. These contrasting articles on the topic led me to a personal conclusion that I've wrestled with for 22 months, since giving birth to my first child at the age of 41: It's all a state of mind.
Article one: Emma Thompson. Oscar Winning Actress. August 3rd. Having it all. It just can't be done'. Good Housekeeping.
Article two: Ness Ovens. 38 year old, mother of 2, British Airways Pilot. October 18th. I don't know how she does it'. The Times.
You see, just accepting that it's all a state of mind far from sweetens the bye bye mammy' in the morning, nor does it solve the support and organisational conundrums we face every week. It does, however, help those of us that choose to retain or pursue a professional ambition feel less selfish, make way for pragmatism and simply come to terms with what and who we are, without feeling perpetually wracked with guilt and burdened with a tortured conscience. Once we get ourselves into the this is my choice and it's what I'm going to do, and do it well' zone, we essentially deal with it.
Emma Thompson tells us in Good Housekeeping', that it just can't be done'.......'I don't want your readers ever to think they have to have it all. I think it's a revolting concept. It's so false'.
Miss Thompson doesn't have a regular nanny'.
She does it all herself apparently. OK. She doesn't need a nanny. She's been fortunate enough to have had it all already. Career, worldwide fame, recognition and reward, AND dedicated motherhood. And well done to her. Well balanced and well worked out I say.
In other people's worlds though,these two agendas collide.They collide in a sometimes inconvenient but nonetheless real way. We all just have to get by and do what's right for each of us, at that point in time. In doing this in a positive state of mind, the children will emerge happier from it too.
Ness Ovens the BA pilot, describes how she and her husband (also a pilot with BA) programme all of our shifts via an electronic calendar.... Our son seesdaddy making beds, doing the laundry, or the cooking and washing up, which is really nice.They are both aware of what we do....... we've even found ourselves swapping over the kids at Heathrow......'.
Holy jet stream! Sounds like domestic logistics taken to its extreme. Don't know how she does it' states the article. I suspect through sheer determination, pragmatism and a passionate desire to accommodate their personal and collective interests, for what they believe to be all the right reasons. And don't tell me that these 2 kids will have a less charmed life than they might have had if Ness the BA pilot decided to stay home. It just doesn't work like that.
We adjust, kids adjust and lives adjust and function. It just happens'. And really..... it's no harm done. Far from it. We all just survive and create our own rich and colourful maelstroms of domestic life and frenetic existence. We bring all of our life skills into play. When professional meets motherhood..... in the way that we have since time began...... we evaluate, we organise and we adapt.
Hats off to both of them. Emma the actress AND Ness the pilot.
Written By: Karen Lee http://www.articlesbase.com/ethics-articles/professional-career-woman-and-loving-mother-its-all-a-state-of-mind-3615608.html
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